Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Smackdown Rundown (Justin Gabriel vs Edge)

Due to various other obligations, I'm not able to update the Wrestling Section of Vintage Blogs as much as I used to. One of the losses of that came from my lack of time were no more weekly reviews for the two major television shows. However, that's about to change, because of my friend, JD, from Wackbag. He has graciously allowed me to post his reviews (from Wackbag's wrestling section) on here.

JD's reviews are always entertaining, insightful and provide more laughs than any of mine ever did. I would like to thank JD for allowing me to post his reviews, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

This is his review for the January 21st edition of Friday Night Smackdown.

  • The Core? It's not a good name, but it could be worse. Barrett's still far and away the best on the mic. Heath Slater is just annoying as balls. Instead of calling it the Core, they could have called it the UN...a South African, a Brit, a darkie from Guyana, and a douchebag from North Carolina. I do like that he pointed out/claimed that the Core is going to be more about the group instead of Nexus just being about him (like it now is with Punk). Not a bad interaction between Teddy & the group, pointing out that he's not going to take their shit.

  • I wonder how much WWE has been spending renting these cars for Del Rio's entrance. You know at some point in a feud someone's going to go all Cryme Tyme on it and destroy the fucking thing.
  • At least they're making the mild attempt of Cole being the heel announcer instead of just a cockbag. Del Rio vs. R-Truth should be a decent match. So Core eliminated Teddy Long, who cares. Hey, it's a Michael Tarver sighting! I'm guessing he'll be in the Rumble as part of the "you're still working?" crew. Or it could be that Ziggler took him out so Vickie can be the GM and make things easier for him vs. Edge. That was a cool lead in to Del Rio's finisher.
  • Well that's no surprise, Core offers their aid to Vickie, & she sicks one of em on Edge. I'm betting it'll be Big Zeke.
  • Here's the crazy numbers promo. Crazy to think this is the 25h year of it, 26 hall of fame-rs is impressive. The weight thing, that's nuts. 183,932 lbs of humanity. I wonder if that's including this year's batch of 40 or not. You don't get the big fat fucks like you used to, no more Yokozuna or Earthquake or Bastion Boogers. Only massive fucks are Big Show & Mark Henry now.
  • Mega Python vs. Gatoroid? No wonder Debby Gibson & Tiffany were on O&A promoting that. That's the type of movie I would have wanted to see on Cinemax, just so you're guaranteed to see their tits
  • Speaking of tits, it's time for a snatch match! Layla vs. Beth Phoenix...I'm pretty comfortable saying Beth's got this in the bag until McCool interferes. Cole: "I don't know what you're talking about." No shit Cole, you know nothing about wrestling. Striker's wrestling nerdery is one thing I like about him as a commentator. Having Cole just dismiss the proper names of moves irritates me.
  • Decent match between Cody & Rey. Kind of amusing to see that Cody went from a tag team champion to a jobber who does the occasional promo. At least he's got a gimmick of some sort.
  • I hate these goddamned Domino's commercials. No one has ever thought the pizzas there were made by robots or machines. And I'm pissed off about The Rite too, the first commercials they had coming out for it looked awesome and appropriately vague. Now they've just given away the entire fucking movie.
  • Broken nose for Cody and at first I hoped that they'd go with a Joker-style freak out when Jack first got unwrapped. Oh well, instead now they're going to put some sort of big bad fake broken nose on him and he'll feud with Rey a la the Kane-Jericho feud over the spilled coffee.
  • Swagger-Kingston in an amateur match. Eh, why not. Hah, a nice Biff Tannen reference. I'm assuming they're actually going to feud over the IC title between now and Wrestlemania. Hopefully they don't keep doing these though.
  • So they're continuing this Barreta/ McIntyre feud, huh? I had forgotten that Drew was kinda sorta with Kelly until that backstage segment last week. What happened to Barreta's tag partner? Is he still employed or did he get future endeavored? If she doesn't want to be around people who take pleasure in beating other people up, maybe she shouldn't be into pro-wrestlers...Not a bad match, no shock that Kelly comes out in time to make Drew stop. Is his new gimmick that he's whipped? Or are we going to get a real feud between Barreta & him over Kelly? Meh, just a little intrigue for when they meet up during the Rumble match
  • Seriously, again with the fucking Domino's commercial? It annoys me even on fast forward
  • "Not the first superstar we've seen Miz walk away from..." Champion vs. Champion on Raw, wonder if that match was any good. Guess I'll find out when I do that recap
  • The music for Core is pretty shitty. I thought the original Nexus music blew but this is significantly gayer. Interesting that it's Gabriel taking on Edge, I'm sure Vickie will say that the match must continue with someone else in there. Not a bad match between the two of them. Oh well, pretty much what I expected. Not a bad Smackdown overall.

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