Sunday, January 16, 2011

NFL Playoffs Preview (Divisional Round) Part 2

Here is Part 1 , I would highly suggest reading it before you proceed. Read Part 1, yet? Good.

Seattle Seahawks (6)


Chicago Bears (2)

Let me start this by apologizing to the Seattle Seahawks, I was one of the many people who gave you absolutely no chance when you faced the New Orleans Saints last week. Did you prove me wrong? Fuck and Yes. Not only did the Seahawks pull off one of the greatest upsets in recent memory, but they did in a shootout which saw Marshawn Lynch enter into Beast Mode (video below). First, that was one of the worst displays of tackling I have ever seen from a team, and keep in mind that I root for a team that employs Asante Samuel. Second, I don't think we see Lynch pull off one of these runs against a vastly superior Chicago Bears defense. No, this will be a far uglier game than last week's shootout spectacle. The Bears offense will feature a lot of Matt Forte, a heavy dose of the short passing game, and a lot of ball control from Cutler and company. If Chicago can stick to their game plan, this should be a victory for them. However, the Bears QB happens to be Jay Cutler aka Cutlerfucker, who is playing in his very first playoff game. The combination of a QB with a history of brutal turnovers and first playoff game never turns out well. On the flip side is Matt Hasselbeck, a veteran QB who is coming off the best game of his career. He knows that the time is running out on his career, and this may be his best opportunity at getting to another Super Bowl. I will take the hungry veteran, and Seattle pulling off another improbable upset.

Winner - Seattle Seahawks

New York Jets (6)


New England Patriots (1)

If you read Part 1 (I told you it was necessary reading) then you saw me gushing about all the trash talking that went on before this week. Well, the No Fun League has put it's foot down as NFL VP Ray Anderson warned teams not to partake in trash talking. Why in fuck's name would you want to put a stop to all the trash talking, it added another element to this already bloody rivalry. Things were just starting to get fun since the trash talking was getting personal. For those of you who don't hang around the Interwebz enough, you might not be aware that Rex Ryan was recently involved in somewhat of a scandal as videos of Rex's love for feet were released by Deadspin. That's right, Rex Ryan has a foot fetish and he was making videos of it. Unfortunately for Rex, his love for feet is now known by the whole world. When asked about it at a press conference, Sexy Rexy refused to comment saying it was personal. After hearing the Jets trash talk all week and hearing his quarterback being called an asshole, Wes Welker didn't think Rex Ryan's personal life should be kept out of the limelight. In a great display of subtle trash talk, Welker made 11 references to feet in his press conference, and they were all within context...........Again, I ask why anyone would want to stop this. Thank God, the players in this rivalry didn't listen to the NFL as just the other day Bart Scott threatened to end Wes Welker's career. I can't wait for this game to be played. Actually let me restate, I can't wait for the Patriots to utterly humiliate the Jets. Gang Green simply doesn't match up well against the Patriots, as NE proved when they blew the jets out on MNF. As if that wasn't enough of a drubbing, the Jets decided to make Tom Brady angry and now they threaten New England's second favorite son (Wes Welker). That crowd is going to be in a frenzy, they will want blood, and the Patriots will be more than happy to give it to them.

Winner - New England Patriots

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