Friday, January 28, 2011

2011 Royal Rumble Preview

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guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back.......

That's right, boys and girls, I have found time in my extremely busy schedule to grace you plebeians by writing a Pay Per Preview. Why? Because it's the Royal Rumble.....Damnit! This is the time of the year when the WWE ups its game to prime time in preparation for the biggest event of the year: Wrestlemania. There is no way, I would have missed coming back and doing a Royal Rumble Preview. Besides, it's not just an old Royal Rumble, it's the biggest Royal Rumble ever. There will be 40 people competing in one match to see who will be going to face the champion, of their respective brand, at Wrestlemania.

Let's delve right into the whole 40 man Rumble issue right now, I know many of my fellow internet wrestling fans are not happy with such a change to the beloved Rumble. Some of you say that the match will be watered down, others complain that it will tarnish some of the history that's associated with the match i.e. Kane eliminating 11 men in one match. I can see where you guys are coming from, but I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you people. First of, the Rumble is a clusterfuck of a match to begin with in the first place, so enough of this horseshit about having the watch watered down. Look, the Rumble isn't some sort of classic wrestling bout that you will be talking about for years to come, it's a 60 minute match that features a bunch of men attempting to throw each over the top rope. Along the way, we get a bunch of surprises, some drama, a couple of pretty neat spots, more drama, and if we are lucky there is a major surprise or two in there. Essentially, that is the Royal Rumble. Now, you get that for 80 or 90 minutes instead of the traditional 60 minutes, which is why I find it mind boggling as to why anyone would complain about the change to 40 men in the Rumble. Another reason as to why the Rumble got expanded to 40 mean was to facilitate the inclusion of The Corre and The New Nexus into the Royal Rumble. For anyone who watched Raw last Monday it was painfully obvious that at some point in the Rumble, the two factions will face off against one another (more on them later), and it will heighten the tension of the drama and the Royal Rumble. Stop complaining about the change to this year's Rumble because it's ultimately a good thing.

On the second point of previous records being tarnished due to this year's longer and larger Rumble, I sympathize with you guys a bit more. If adding 10 extra men to the Rumble was simply a ploy to have John Cena enter #1 and overcome the odds by breaking Mysterio's record of lasting 62 minutes in the 2006 Royal Rumble or shattering Kane's record of 11 eliminations, I would be beyond pissed. Hell, my worst case scenario for the night and journey to Wrestlemania is the potential main event of John Cena vs. Randy Orton at Wrestlemania 27. If this ends up occurring, you can be rest assured that I will be skipping Wrestlemania this year since I absolutely hate the Jizzbucket known as Randy Orton and find myself sickened by the corniness of Cena. Having stated that, I don't think the WWE is heading in the direction of Orton vs Cena at Wrestlemania which is why I'm still excited about the Road to Wrestlemania. What direction do I think the WWE is heading in for the Mania main event? You will have to read on to find out.

Let's get it started off with Finger Eleven's "Living in a Dream" which is this year's official Royal Rumble Theme.

Natalya (Champion) vs. Lay Cool
2-on-1 Handicap Match for the Divas Championship

Fans of the blog already know this but for those of you who are new or are reading for the first time, I will make something clear. We have a rule on Vintage Blogs when it comes to Women's wrestling, we don't really cover it. It's not because we're sexist (although we are) it's just because women's wrestling absolutely sucks. Moreover, the WWE Creative team does not put any effort into the booking and storylines for their for women's division so why should I waste my valuable time covering their shitty matches. If the WWE does ever go back to giving a shit about the Women's division, we will give the Divas their rightful coverage.

Edge (Champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Singles Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

Matches like these are one of the reasons as to why the Royal Rumble is one of my favorite PPV's of the year. Normally, you wouldn't get to see an upper midcarder like Ziggler get a title shot at a major PPV but since the Royal Rumble match itself is the big attraction of the PPV, they can put guys like Ziggler in a title match to reward him for being one of the best wrestlers during the past year. His series of matches with Daniel Bryan, the heat he draws with Vickie Guerrero and his overall improvement have shown that Dolph Ziggler clearly has the goods to one day become a World Champion. With this match against Edge, he has the opportunity to show Vince and the management just what he can bring to the table in a main event match. If Ziggler does well, we will see him become a World Champion before the year ends ala Jeff Hardy 2008. As for his chances against Edge on Sunday...... Yeah, I don't forsee Dolph going into Mania or Elimination Chamber as the World Heavyweight Champion.

Prediction - Edge Retains the World Heavyweight Championship

The Miz (Champion) vs. Randy Orton
Singles Match for the WWE Championship

As I stated above, the the thought of a main event featuring Randy Orton vs John Cena at Wrestlemania 27 terrifies me which is why I will be fervently rooting for The Miz to pull out a victory. I believe there is a very good chance that he will be able to do so since the company, particularly Vince McMahon, is really high on him. The Miz has been nothing but spectacular in his time as the WWE Champion. As usual, he has been stellar on the mic when he has been called on to do a promo. When provided with a quality opponent (ie John Morrison) he has delivered spectacular matches. In fact, his match against Morrison that started off the New Year on Raw is an early Match of the Year candidate (see below). Away from the wrestling ring, he has done more publicity work that any other wrestler barring maybe John Cena. I think the WWE rewards The Miz as they have a very interesting match for him at Wrestlemania. For clearence purposes, I'm not being cryptic for the sake of being cryptic, my Royal Rumble pick should make it a lot clearer.

Prediction - The Miz Retains the WWE Championship
40 Man Match Royal Rumble Match

This is what you have all been waiting for, this was what you came to read. Unfortunately, as any good Communications major knows, you have to tease everyone a bit before giving the big reveal up which is why we are going to go through a list of guys who will either a) have no fucking shot what so ever b) possible surprise entrants c) possibly returning from injury d) workhorses of the match or e) Serious Contenders .

A - Have No Shot What So Ever Category
Actually, the majority of the Rumble participants should be in this particular category; however, I'm 0nly going to cover a few of the major ones.

Mark Henry - No matter how many times the WWE tries to build him up before the Rumble, every one of us knows that the artist formerly known as Sexual Chocolate will not be winning the Royal Rumble.

The Corre barring Wade Barrett - You can say it as much as you want but the 4 guys in The Corre will never be equals. Out of those 4, the WWE is the highest on Barrett and Gabriel but as of right now, the only one who maybe ready for a main event push is Wade Barrett, which is why he is the only Corre member who has a shot.

Santino Marrella - He has the record (1 second) for the shortest amount of time in the Rumble. Need I say more?

Nexus barring CM Punk - They have actually admitted that they would sacrifice themselves for Punk in the Royal Rumble, which makes it a safe bet that none of them will be winning it. Of course, I fully expect, at least, one member of the new Nexus to turn on Punk but they won't win.

B- Possible Surprise Entrants
Chris Jericho - Am I expecting it to happen? Fuck and no. Am I hoping for it to happen? Almost as bad as any male virgin hopes to lose their card carrying membership to the v club. Nevertheless, there is a case to be made and when there is one of those on the table, you can be rest assured that I will be there to do so. I have read the interviews where Y2J claims that he is not planning on coming back to the ring anytime soon. However, with a second autobiography (Undisputed: How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps) coming out this February, and Jericho approaching the age of 40, you can be rest assured that in the back of Jericho's head there is the itch to return. Moreover, Randy Orton needs someone to feud with since he won't be involved in the title picture. Who better than the man he punted and put out of action in September? Maybe, I'm just hoping a little too hard but I want it to happen really fucking bad.

Batista - It's been nearly 10 months since The Animal left the company, and the Rumble seems like a ripe time for Batista to come back into the fold. What makes me think that he will be coming back? The fact that the WWE has been making references to him on TV (ie CM Punk reminding the audience that Cena ended Batista's career) and there has been a lot more footage of him airing on TV. Combine that with the fact that Batista's acting career doesn't seems to be going anywhere, and I think The Animal may be returning. If it seems like I am grasping at straws, it could be possible since I really enjoyed Batista's run as a heel and want him back. Furthermore, I just want Mason Ryan and Batista to come face to face. The universe may or may not explode.

Any Number of Legends - Could be the likes of Ron Simmons, Arn Anderson, Sgt. Slaughter, but within the 40 entrants, you can be sure that the Hall of Famers will find their way in.

C- Possibly Returning From Injury

Evan Bourne - Bourne was the recipient of a pretty good push last year until he became an unfortunate victim of a Randy Orton burial. Then he proceeded to disappear off the face of the Earth, and became injured. A Rumble return and a solid showing would go a long way in revitalizing Evan Bourne's career.

Christian - Before you read any further, you you should know that I have been a fan of Christian ever since he started rocking the Captain Charisma gimmick. When he started the crusade against Cena on Raw, I was fully on board and from there on out, it has been on a full fledged man crush that I have on the Pontiff of the Peepulation. I followed him to TNA, I rooted for him to come back, I even started watching ECW because of him, and once again I find myself awaiting his return. The guy has everything going, he is over with the crowd, he is beyond talented in the ring and on the mic, he has great matches with everyone, and he doesn't seem to any have issues that should prevent him from winning the World Championship. Once again, I'm pleading for the WWE to give Christian a chance so he can prove himself. What better way for him to do other than come back, win the Royal Rumble and go on to face Edge at Wrestlemania 27 for the World Heavyweight Championship. Fuck it, a fella can dream, right?

Triple H - It seems as if it's time to play The Game. You ever wish really hard for a Christmas present and then on Christmas morning, you don't get it. That's one of the worst surprises, and that's exactly what I equate Triple H returning to. Unfortunately, it's all but a done deal for The King of Kings to come back. Now, the only question remains weather he will be an actual participant in the Rumble or will he just come out and cost Sheamus a shot at main eventing Wrestlemania.

D - Workhorse Category

This is the category of guys who actually build the match portion of the Royal Rumble, they are the ones who actually toil away doing most of the work, keeping things exciting for the crowd. They are the ones that teeter on the brink of elimination and add drama to the proceedings. Later on, when a big guy or a big name comes into the ring, these guys are the ones that get eliminated. However, they should be given the proper credit because without them, the Rumble wouldn't be what we have all come all to enjoy.

Brian Danielson aka Daniel Bryan - Now that they have finally gotten rid of the Bellas/Daniel Bryan angle, he can go back to being a ferocious competitor and the best technical wrestler in the company. He can revert back to his old ways in this match with a 20 to 30 minute showing and possible elimination or two. With an impressive Rumble, he can put the stink of the Bellas angle behind him, and start a feud with someone over the United States Championship.

John Morrison - Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw Morrison as the #1 or #2 entrant in this Rumble. Hell, he even has an outside shot of winning the Royal Rumble but I don't think it will be happening. However, that won't stop him from lasting a tremendous amount of time in the Rumble. With a good showing in the Rumble, Morrison can continue to be in the uppercard level since he will be a participant in Raw's Elimination Chamber.

Rey Mysterio - I considered putting him into the contenders category but I don't think he has properly been built up for a Wrestlemania main event, which is why he will last a long time in the Rumble and then he will get eliminated by Del Rio or get distracted by Cody Rhodes.

Kofi Kingston - The Intercontinental Champion used to be called the workhorse Champion, and Kofi will get to put some serious time into this match.

Jack Swagger - The All American American needs a good showing in the Rumble. For the past few weeks, he has been playing Kofi's bitch and he doesn't have much in the way of heat. With a few eliminations in the Rumble and possibly eliminating a crowd favorite, Swagger will be back in no time.

E - Serious Contenders

Alberto Del Rio - Do I expect it to happen? No. However, I would not be surprised if Del Rio actually managed to win the Royal Rumble. He is one of the few men who has consistently been appearing on both Raw and Smackdown, the audience is aware of who he is and he gets a tremendous amount of heat with the Mexican JBL gimmick. Usually, his matches are good, and he is damn entertaining to watch. Barring injury, I have no doubt that he will be a Champion on one of the main brands in the upcoming year. I just don't think the WWE is willing to put him in a Wrestlemania Main event this soon.

CM Punk - Arguably, he is the best heel in the company. For my money, he is the best talker in the company, he consistently puts on great matches. Hell, two weeks ago, Punk and Cena put on a wonderful match that actually felt worth of a main event slot. Right now, he has leadership over the hottest faction in the WWE. It appears as if the time is right for the first ever Straight Edge Royal Rumble winner. Unfortunately, I don't think it will happen due to the man below.

John Cena - As much as it pains me to type this, I think John Cena will be winning the Royal Rumble on Sunday. From there on out, he will go on to face The Miz at Wrestlemania. Why? Ever since he won the title, The Miz has constantly said that he felt disrespected even though he has been champion. No one has shown greater disrespect to The Miz than John Cena. After all, Cena has come out and publicly stated that a worthy main event at Wrestlemania, for him, would be facing Randy Orton for the title. You have your title program built up right there as The Miz can go on to Wrestlemania and prove that he is worthy to be there by beating John Cena, who would be the victor of the biggest Royal Rumble ever.

Prediction - John Cena overcomes the odds once again

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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Raw Reaction (Wade Barrett vs CM Punk)

Due to various other obligations, I'm not able to update the Wrestling Section of Vintage Blogs as much as I used to. One of the losses of that came from my lack of time were no more weekly reviews for the two major television shows. However, that's about to change, because of my friend, JD, from Wackbag. He has graciously allowed me to post his reviews (from Wackbag's wrestling section) on here.

JD's reviews are always entertaining, insightful and provide more laughs than any of mine ever did. I would like to thank JD for allowing me to post his reviews, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

This is his review for the January 24th edition of Monday Night Raw.
  • Starting the show off with Edge is always good. I love his reaction to the chime signifying there's a new e-mail from the "anonymous" GM. I do hope that we'll eventually find out who it is. Swagger, Tyson Kidd, & Drew McIntyre? None of these guys should be #40 at the Rumble. I've got this feeling that it's going to be 'Taker, HHH, or Kane. I'd love it if Edge just speared Cole through the GM stand.
  • Okay, so they're keeping the shitty Nexus song for Punk's version of the group? Should have stayed with Punk's Killswitch Engage entrance music. I find it mildly amusing, there's only 1 member of the original Nexus in the group...maybe they should have gotten a different name too? So Batista Jr has a name, Mason Ryan...and it's another British voice in Nexus from Cardiff, Wales. I guess they didn't want the faction to bee too UK-centric. I've always thought it'd be amusing to put all the guys from the UK (or British territories) and call it The Empire; put William Regal in as the head.
  • Really? They're spelling it "The Corre" Fuck you, there's only one R in Core and I'm going to spell it as such. Barrett vs. Punk will be a good match. I dislike the "if you lose, your group is out of the Rumble" stipulation. Of course Cena's the special guest ref...I foresee a double countout or a double DQ.
  • These ads for "I Am Number Four" look pretty interesting. Is it based off a graphic novel or something?

Aizaz's Note - To answer JD's question "I AM Number Four" is based on a novel. I haven't personally read it but as I was browsing through Barnes and Nobles, I saw it the other day.
  • Morrison & Henry vs. Del Rio & Sheamus...I expect Sheamus to be eliminated by HHH at the Rumble. He won't be in the match, but he'll run out and yank Sheamus from the ring or attack him on the ramp on the way to the ring. Kind of surprised to see Henry tap to end the match, I assumed they'd continue to push the nonsensical belief that he's actually a threat to win the Rumble.
  • Snatch match for the Divas title...when did Melina go back to being a heel? Or is she just a tweener right now? Why am I even caring? Interesting submission maneuver by Melina, looked like some sort of weird octopus stretch. WOW, that was an unreal-bendy Sharpshooter. Pulled Melina's legs right up over her head. You know she's probably that bendy in bed too. Oh joy, a 2-on-1 handicapped match at the Rumble for the Divas title. WGAS
  • I liked that video package they did for Mason Riley's introduction to Nexus. What the fuck's with him speaking Welsh though? I always thought it was a phlegm-y language, but damn skip.
  • Glad Cena pointed out the retardedness of the extra R...and definitely liked his Shining reference to seeing Miz & Riley laughing. Cole went exceptionally over the top with his cock-suckery of Miz when he came out to the ring. Ziggler out for commentary, Vickie looking not un-fuckable. Decent match, shame that the commentary takes away from it. That's one thing that I definitely miss about JR, he could get a guy over on commentary without having to be over-the-top with gay bias like Cole. "No coming in the back door for me!" Um...Dolph if this show was still TV-14 King would have jumped on that line like a bitch in heat. No shock that it ends w/ a run in.
  • "Every cloud has a silver lining." Does it Wade? That's some impressively shitty cliche usage
  • Damn, those leopard-print outfits are drool-inducing on the Bellas. Not a fan of Alicia Fox with the Kool-Aid red hair...doesn't look good on her at all. And what's up with her tits, did she get a reduction or something? They don't look anywhere near as big as before. Maybe it's just the top she's wearing. Lame match, lamer ending. I'm sure it's going to wind up with the Bellas actually feuding and boring all of us. Or we see the triumphant return of TV-MA Raw and they do a threesome angle. Haha, he's with Gail Kim, nice! First time she's been on TV in a long while. I love how she pointed out that the Bellas were basically up shits creek with no more guest hosts.
  • Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO this Friday on Smackdown...that could be nice, but you know it's just going to end up as a schmozz and just be a shit match with Cole sucking Miz's cock all match long.
  • Harris & McGillicutty vs. Santino & Kozlov for the tag titles. I could see them putting the titles on Nexus and then having them feud with 1/2 of Core for the straps. I like Husky's near snap-bodyslam, bringing Santino up and over so quickly. Weak having Kozlov be completely destroyed by one knock off the apron, but I like Harris' finisher. Wait, it wasn't for the titles? Stupid Cole fucking it up. Oh well, I'm sure that either they or the Core will get the tag titles soon and feud over it.
  • Fine tossing out Nexus & Core, lame taking so damned long to do it. Instead of just getting the match on, it's a lame filler. Excessive use of profanity for a double DQ? You knew the GM was going to overturn that decision. Meh, as expected...time to delete
Thanks for reading!

Comment if you like, we would really appreciate it if you do.

If you need to contact us for any reason, telling us how great we are, asking us some questions, making suggestions, or even complaining, just e-mail me at

Oh and visit Wackbag, it's one of the funniest boards in the interwebz, I would know since I'm a member as well.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Smackdown Rundown (Justin Gabriel vs Edge)

Due to various other obligations, I'm not able to update the Wrestling Section of Vintage Blogs as much as I used to. One of the losses of that came from my lack of time were no more weekly reviews for the two major television shows. However, that's about to change, because of my friend, JD, from Wackbag. He has graciously allowed me to post his reviews (from Wackbag's wrestling section) on here.

JD's reviews are always entertaining, insightful and provide more laughs than any of mine ever did. I would like to thank JD for allowing me to post his reviews, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

This is his review for the January 21st edition of Friday Night Smackdown.

  • The Core? It's not a good name, but it could be worse. Barrett's still far and away the best on the mic. Heath Slater is just annoying as balls. Instead of calling it the Core, they could have called it the UN...a South African, a Brit, a darkie from Guyana, and a douchebag from North Carolina. I do like that he pointed out/claimed that the Core is going to be more about the group instead of Nexus just being about him (like it now is with Punk). Not a bad interaction between Teddy & the group, pointing out that he's not going to take their shit.

  • I wonder how much WWE has been spending renting these cars for Del Rio's entrance. You know at some point in a feud someone's going to go all Cryme Tyme on it and destroy the fucking thing.
  • At least they're making the mild attempt of Cole being the heel announcer instead of just a cockbag. Del Rio vs. R-Truth should be a decent match. So Core eliminated Teddy Long, who cares. Hey, it's a Michael Tarver sighting! I'm guessing he'll be in the Rumble as part of the "you're still working?" crew. Or it could be that Ziggler took him out so Vickie can be the GM and make things easier for him vs. Edge. That was a cool lead in to Del Rio's finisher.
  • Well that's no surprise, Core offers their aid to Vickie, & she sicks one of em on Edge. I'm betting it'll be Big Zeke.
  • Here's the crazy numbers promo. Crazy to think this is the 25h year of it, 26 hall of fame-rs is impressive. The weight thing, that's nuts. 183,932 lbs of humanity. I wonder if that's including this year's batch of 40 or not. You don't get the big fat fucks like you used to, no more Yokozuna or Earthquake or Bastion Boogers. Only massive fucks are Big Show & Mark Henry now.
  • Mega Python vs. Gatoroid? No wonder Debby Gibson & Tiffany were on O&A promoting that. That's the type of movie I would have wanted to see on Cinemax, just so you're guaranteed to see their tits
  • Speaking of tits, it's time for a snatch match! Layla vs. Beth Phoenix...I'm pretty comfortable saying Beth's got this in the bag until McCool interferes. Cole: "I don't know what you're talking about." No shit Cole, you know nothing about wrestling. Striker's wrestling nerdery is one thing I like about him as a commentator. Having Cole just dismiss the proper names of moves irritates me.
  • Decent match between Cody & Rey. Kind of amusing to see that Cody went from a tag team champion to a jobber who does the occasional promo. At least he's got a gimmick of some sort.
  • I hate these goddamned Domino's commercials. No one has ever thought the pizzas there were made by robots or machines. And I'm pissed off about The Rite too, the first commercials they had coming out for it looked awesome and appropriately vague. Now they've just given away the entire fucking movie.
  • Broken nose for Cody and at first I hoped that they'd go with a Joker-style freak out when Jack first got unwrapped. Oh well, instead now they're going to put some sort of big bad fake broken nose on him and he'll feud with Rey a la the Kane-Jericho feud over the spilled coffee.
  • Swagger-Kingston in an amateur match. Eh, why not. Hah, a nice Biff Tannen reference. I'm assuming they're actually going to feud over the IC title between now and Wrestlemania. Hopefully they don't keep doing these though.
  • So they're continuing this Barreta/ McIntyre feud, huh? I had forgotten that Drew was kinda sorta with Kelly until that backstage segment last week. What happened to Barreta's tag partner? Is he still employed or did he get future endeavored? If she doesn't want to be around people who take pleasure in beating other people up, maybe she shouldn't be into pro-wrestlers...Not a bad match, no shock that Kelly comes out in time to make Drew stop. Is his new gimmick that he's whipped? Or are we going to get a real feud between Barreta & him over Kelly? Meh, just a little intrigue for when they meet up during the Rumble match
  • Seriously, again with the fucking Domino's commercial? It annoys me even on fast forward
  • "Not the first superstar we've seen Miz walk away from..." Champion vs. Champion on Raw, wonder if that match was any good. Guess I'll find out when I do that recap
  • The music for Core is pretty shitty. I thought the original Nexus music blew but this is significantly gayer. Interesting that it's Gabriel taking on Edge, I'm sure Vickie will say that the match must continue with someone else in there. Not a bad match between the two of them. Oh well, pretty much what I expected. Not a bad Smackdown overall.

Thanks for reading!

Comment if you like, we would really appreciate it if you do.

If you need to contact us for any reason, telling us how great we are, asking us some questions, making suggestions, or even complaining, just e-mail me at

Oh and visit Wackbag, it's one of the funniest boards in the interwebz, I would know since I'm a member as well.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

NFL Playoffs: Conference Championship (New York Jets vs Pittsburgh Steelers/ Green Bay Packers vs Chicago Bears)

Welcome to another week of football playoffs! The conference championship is a pretty bitter sweet pill for me. On one hand, this is the Final 4 of the NFL season, this is where we find out who is going to be competing for the Super Bowl. On the other hand, this is the weekend where the realization that you are no longer going to be watching football on a weekly basis begins to sink in, and it's an awful feeling. This year that feeling is particularly exasperated because of the whole NFL collective bargaining agreement situation. I can't imagine the possibility of there being no football in my life for the entire upcoming year, I honestly don't know what I would do with myself. For the love of God, you fuckers need to stop being greedy, and sign the fucking thing so I will have sweet, sweet football to occupy my Sundays. However, I can worry about that when the time comes, but right now is the time for some predictions for the NFC and AFC championship games.

New York Jets (6)

Justify Full@
Pittsburgh Steelers (2)

The New York Jets are a team that defies every law by being in the position to be in the Super Bowl. They have a QB who is consistently inconsistent, they give more bulletin board to other teams than any other team in the nation. For their very first match up, they drew Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts... they were able to persevere. For their second match up, they drew Tom Brady and the New England Patriots, The Jets had to go into the dragon's lair and beat them there. Did they show any fear? Absolutely not. On the contrary, with their trash talk and guarantees, they ended up intimidating the Patriots. The Jets swaggered into Foxborough and kicked Brady and Bellichek's teeth right down their throat. Now, they only have one injury riddled team standing in their way. Moreover, it's a team they already beat earlier in the year. The Jets have the momentum, and all signs point toward their victory. And really all the signs should point towards a Jet victory, they were in the AFC Championship game last year and barely came up short. During the offseason, they made key off season acquisitions like Santonio Holmes, Antonio Cromarties, and LaDanian Tomlinson just so they could get over this very hump. It would be insane to pick against yet that's exactly what I'm going to do. For Sexy Rexy and the Jets last week was their Super Bowl, they spent an inordinate amount of energy on beating the Patriots. I think the Jets will come out flat in the beginning of this game, and Pittsburgh will take advantage and take the early lead. From there on out, Big Ben will show why he should be in the discussion for best QB in the league. Chalk it up to my hate for the Jets, but I don't think they can gets past the Steelers on Heinz Field. However, if they do get past Manning, Brady, and Roethlisberger in consecutive weeks (on the less) then the New York Jets (this is painful to type) will be deserving of a Super Bowl. Until then, I will stick with the better QB.

Better than Mark Sanchez

Winner - Pittsburgh Steelers
Green Bay Packers (6)

Chicago Bears (2)

The Playoffs are about making a legacy for yourself especially if you are a quarterback. Aaron Rodgers took that lesson to heart, since the man is playing at an unbelievable level. After last week, he has put the fear of God in opposing teams and coaches. Hell, he has also managed to put the fear of God into people who might potentially want to pick against him. Sure, the Bears defense is stout, and they have shown that they can contain the explosive Packers offense. In fact, you can say that the Bears offense may be a bit underrated as well, since they had the second best offense in the league yet no one seems to be talking about Cutlerfucker and Company. However, all of that is moot against the force of nature that is currently the Green Bay offense which is led by a legend in the making: Aaron Rodgers.

Winner - Green Bay Packers
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Sunday, January 16, 2011

NFL Playoffs Preview (Divisional Round) Part 2

Here is Part 1 , I would highly suggest reading it before you proceed. Read Part 1, yet? Good.

Seattle Seahawks (6)


Chicago Bears (2)

Let me start this by apologizing to the Seattle Seahawks, I was one of the many people who gave you absolutely no chance when you faced the New Orleans Saints last week. Did you prove me wrong? Fuck and Yes. Not only did the Seahawks pull off one of the greatest upsets in recent memory, but they did in a shootout which saw Marshawn Lynch enter into Beast Mode (video below). First, that was one of the worst displays of tackling I have ever seen from a team, and keep in mind that I root for a team that employs Asante Samuel. Second, I don't think we see Lynch pull off one of these runs against a vastly superior Chicago Bears defense. No, this will be a far uglier game than last week's shootout spectacle. The Bears offense will feature a lot of Matt Forte, a heavy dose of the short passing game, and a lot of ball control from Cutler and company. If Chicago can stick to their game plan, this should be a victory for them. However, the Bears QB happens to be Jay Cutler aka Cutlerfucker, who is playing in his very first playoff game. The combination of a QB with a history of brutal turnovers and first playoff game never turns out well. On the flip side is Matt Hasselbeck, a veteran QB who is coming off the best game of his career. He knows that the time is running out on his career, and this may be his best opportunity at getting to another Super Bowl. I will take the hungry veteran, and Seattle pulling off another improbable upset.

Winner - Seattle Seahawks

New York Jets (6)


New England Patriots (1)

If you read Part 1 (I told you it was necessary reading) then you saw me gushing about all the trash talking that went on before this week. Well, the No Fun League has put it's foot down as NFL VP Ray Anderson warned teams not to partake in trash talking. Why in fuck's name would you want to put a stop to all the trash talking, it added another element to this already bloody rivalry. Things were just starting to get fun since the trash talking was getting personal. For those of you who don't hang around the Interwebz enough, you might not be aware that Rex Ryan was recently involved in somewhat of a scandal as videos of Rex's love for feet were released by Deadspin. That's right, Rex Ryan has a foot fetish and he was making videos of it. Unfortunately for Rex, his love for feet is now known by the whole world. When asked about it at a press conference, Sexy Rexy refused to comment saying it was personal. After hearing the Jets trash talk all week and hearing his quarterback being called an asshole, Wes Welker didn't think Rex Ryan's personal life should be kept out of the limelight. In a great display of subtle trash talk, Welker made 11 references to feet in his press conference, and they were all within context...........Again, I ask why anyone would want to stop this. Thank God, the players in this rivalry didn't listen to the NFL as just the other day Bart Scott threatened to end Wes Welker's career. I can't wait for this game to be played. Actually let me restate, I can't wait for the Patriots to utterly humiliate the Jets. Gang Green simply doesn't match up well against the Patriots, as NE proved when they blew the jets out on MNF. As if that wasn't enough of a drubbing, the Jets decided to make Tom Brady angry and now they threaten New England's second favorite son (Wes Welker). That crowd is going to be in a frenzy, they will want blood, and the Patriots will be more than happy to give it to them.

Winner - New England Patriots

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Saturday, January 15, 2011

NFL Playoffs Preview (Divisional Round) Part 1

Welcome to another week of playoff football. To be honest with you, I'm still reeling from the Eagles loss last week. I expected my Iggles to be here, and to be vying for a spot in the NFC Championship. Unfortunately, the mutant looking Clay Matthews, the excellent play of QB Aaron Rodgers, and ineptness of Andy Reid's coaching got in the way. However, that has nothing to do with this week's matchups except the fact that I will be rooting fervently (that is an understatement; I'm praying for Rodgers to have a career ending injury) against the Packers.

Like last week, this will be another weekend of terrific games as great rivalries were renewed on the AFC side of the playoffs. Both the Jets and Ravens (considered underdogs) decided to be vulgar, and offensive before they met their opponents on the field. For the New York Jets, it was CB Antonio Cromartie who started things off by stating that he hated Tom Brady, but he didn't stop there....No, Cromartie took it one step farther and decided to call Tom Brady an asshole in public. Good Lord, I love playoff football. I know Cromartie's comments ended up offending a lot of people, and rightfully so. However, I simply loved all the trash talking by the Jets week because A) it decreases their chances of winning....Seriously fellas making Tom Brady angry and motivating him even more is not the way to win playoff games. Second, it adds a lot more drama and excitement to an already intriguing playoff match up. It's no secret that I'm a huge wrestling fan and this match up feels like it has all the build up of a Wrestlemania match. Though, Brady seemingly brushed the comments off, you know that he is seething on the inside. An angry Tom Brady will be a sight to behold and I, for one, cannot wait to see him carve the Jets secondary like a turkey on Thanksgiving night.

The Jets and the Cromartie weren't the only ones who took part in trash talking or inciting their opponents before a match, the Baltimore Ravens and Terrell Suggs also decided to get in on the fun.

Yup, that's a middle finger to the Pittsburgh Steelers

Cmon, how can you not be excited about the fact that Terrell Suggs just added more fuel to the raging fire that is the Steelers vs Ravens rivalry. The last time these two teams met in the playoffs, it was one of the most brutal and physical football games, I had ever watched. Hell, WIllis McGahee still cringes every time he remembers that game (watch the clip below for why)

All of this trash talk, bitterness and hate will help in providing you the fan with the most entertaining product that the NFL can put out, and isn't that the point of the Divisional Round of the playoffs. This is where the contenders get separated from the pretenders as we narrow down the playing field to 4 of the best teams in the NFL.

Let's get this shit started!

Baltimore Ravens (5)


Pittsburgh Steelers (2)

As I mentioned above, this should be a brutal game. Both the Steelers and the Ravens have tremendous defenses, each of which is capable of putting massive, bone crunching hits on people. This does not bode well for Ben Roethlisberger, whose Offensive Line has been absolutely putrid for most of the season. For the Steelers to win this game, Big Ben has to come up huge today, he will need to avoid the pressure that the Ravens will undoubtedly bring. That means, he will have to get out of the pocket, making excellent throws while he is still on the move or just making plays with his feet. Roethlisberger had a tough offeseason with the rape allegations and a suspension to start off the regular season. With a defining game today, he will take the first steps towards putting all that stuff behind him and cementing his legacy as one of the best QB's in the league. After all, winning makes America forget. Right, Kobe Bryant? On the opposite side, stands Joe Flacco and he has to do the same for the Ravens to advance. Last week, Flacco didn't fare too well when the Chiefs rushed him, he lost fumbles and made some terrible decisions. If he does the same thing this week, Polamalu and Company will not let him get away with those mistakes. Ultimately, I would trust Ben Rothelisberger who has won his last six games against the Ravens to win me a game rather than Joe Flacco.

Trust Ben Roethlisberger on the field......not off of it

Winner - Pittsburgh

Green Bay Packers (6)

Atlanta Falcons (1)

America has hopped on the Green Bay Packers bandwagon, while the media has spread its legs and firmly impaled itself on Aaron Rodgers' cock. Can you tell that I'm bitter about last week's loss yet? My bitterness stems from the fact that America is right to jump on the Packers bandwagon, they are a dangerous team. Hell, they could very well be the best 6th seed in recent memory. Their QB is playing at unbelievable level, the team is getting healthy and gelling at the right time. Even their biggest weakness (the lack of a running game) seemed to have fixed itself with the emergence of RB James Starks last week. On the the other sideline stand the Atlanta Falcons, who earned a #1 seed in a touch NFC this season. Their franchise QB Matt Ryan is playing great football, just take a look at his home record (20-2). They have a tremendous arsenal of weapons on the offensive side of things with Roddy White, Tony Gonzalez, and Michael Turner. All in all, this has the makings of a fantastic game. If we are lucky, this might even turn into a shootout if the Falcons can take advantage of the mismatches they have with Gonzalez. Unfortunately, I don't think the Falcons will be able to prevail over Clay Matthews and Company which is why I'm picking the Packers.......That still doesn't stop me from rooting for Aaron Rodgers to have career ending injury ala Joe Theissman.

Would you bet against The Predator?

Winner - Green Bay Packers

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Deadspin's Dead Wrestler of the Week: "Ravishing" Rick Rude

Most people who follow blogs closely have probably heard of Gawker media. They are the pinnacle of blog popularity. One of the websites under them is Deadspin, which claims to deliver sports "without access, favor or discretion." They absolutely come through on that claim as their targets have ranged from the likes of Tiger Woods, Brett Favre and Alex Rodriguez to Sean Salisbury and Steve Phillips. Anyway, I visit Deadspin for the sheer lulz and their often humorous take on sports. Plus, they have some excellent writers like Drew Margarey and Will Leitch. Anyway, a few weeks ago they started a weekly tribute to dead wrestlers or defunct companies. These columns have been absolutely great as they combine passion for wrestling, emotional attachment to the wrestlers along with some excellent writing.

Here is Deadspin's own description of it:
An occasional feature in which the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies. Today: "Ravishing" Rick Rude, who died in 1999 of heart failure possibly caused by a drug overdose.
I will just do a teaser of sorts on here, if you want to read the rest of it, you should click right here:

The Super Posedown at Royal Rumble 1989 wasn't much of a bodybuilding expo, but it was probably close to the average person's idea of one: On one side stood "Ravishing" Rick Rude, flexing and diabolically gyrating his hips; across the ring loomed the Ultimate Warrior, the WWF's musclebound comer, grunting and shaking and nominally "posing" for the audience.

Warrior certainly had the crowd on his side, but then, so did anyone standing opposite Rude, arguably the most loathed bad guy of his era. It's not hard to hate a guy with his own face airbrushed on the crotch of his pants, after all. But Rude's act — the classic Lothario with the volume turned up to 11 – wasn't as simple as it seemed.

Rude was born Richard Erwin Rood in Minnesota at a time when the state was a fertile ground for wrestling talent. He went to high school with Tom Zenk and Nikita Koloff and trained with Eddie Sharkey, who also trained the Road Warriors, Curt Hennig, and Barry Darsow.

Rude worked early on in Canada, Georgia, and Memphis, mostly as an insignificant babyface, but his turn as an evildoer in Jim Crockett Promotions in 1983 determined his life's purpose. He made a return to the Memphis territory in '84, and it was there that Jerry Jarrett gave him the nickname "Ravishing" and helped define the role Rude would inhabit for much of the rest of his life.

Rude came along at a cultural moment when image — read: physical perfection — was at a premium. But he wasn't all mustache and muscle: Contra most of the statuesque brutes of his day, Rude was actually a considerable in-ring technician. His sojourn through the South saw him birth a new archetype for the pretty-boy bad guy. Early playboys of that sort were bleached, tanned jerks who projected their churlishness broadly, in the manner of the oversized masks of ancient Greek theater, so that they would be at least as detestable from the back row as from the front. Even into the first couple of decades of televised wrestling, wrestlers played exclusively to the live crowd; they were as likely to turn their backs to the TV cameras as address them directly.
Look who's back, it seems as if I'm not the only one who is returning to write on their blog this January. It appears as if Deadspin's Masked Man, a writer who has penned some extraordinary columns in tribute to dead wrestlers, has also come back. The last time we saw MM write one of his articles was back in September when he wrote an absolutely brilliant piece on Owen Hart's career. Though, it seems as if he has returned, there are are already signs that his articles will be even more sporadic than usual as evidenced by the amended description to MM's tributes now defining his columns as an "occasional feature". It's probably due to the fact that he is running out of dead wrestlers to write about. Sure, wrestlers drop dead like the WWE Title changes hands these days but there are so many good (read= wrestlers that people will actually want to read about) wrestlers that the man can write about before he has none left to write about. This is a good move since it gives MM more time to write out his columns and it insures that he will have something, or in this case a dead someone, to write about.

This week, the talented MM takes a look at the career of "Ravishing" Rick Rude, who was one of the most talented wrestlers of his generation. As mentioned in the column above, not only did Rude have the chiseled/muscular look that Vice McMahon desperately craved in his wrestlers, he could flat out wrestle which was a rarity. Rude was the complete package (To quote JR "no pun intended) and his wrestling career should have reached farther heights. The man absolutely owned his gimmick as his heelish tactics won him the hate of fans everywhere. As usual, the Masked Man does a wonderful job of capturing what Rude was about, why and where he succeeded , and just made the "Ravishing One" so special. I would highly suggest reading it if you were a Rick Rude fan, want to know more wrestling history, or just want to read something that will make you think.
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Saturday, January 8, 2011

NFL Playoffs Preview (Wild Card Weekend)

Though Christmas has gone by, for football fans, this is the season to be jolly. Those unfamiliar with the sport would of course wonder how anyone could be delighted during the freezing temperatures and dreary days of January. The excitement for football fans can be summed up in up one word: playoffs. After 17 weeks of grueling regular season football, 12 teams have emerged to battle each to for the right to call themselves champions of the National Football League. What makes this year so special isn’t the possibility that this could be the last we see of the league because of the expiring collective bargaining agreement between the owners and the players. No, this year’s playoffs have the chance to be extraordinary because almost every team (Sorry Seattle) has a chance to win the Super Bowl. After all, there are 4 four Super Bowl winning QB’s (Brady, Roethlisberger, Manning, and Brees) looking to increase their legend, and a pack of exciting stars (Vick, Rodgers, and Ryan) looking to forge legacies of their own. Wild Card weekend starts it all of as 8 of the 12 teams start their arduous journey to acquire the vaunted Lombardi Trophy.

New Orleans Saints vs. Seattle Seahawks – No one (including me) is giving the Seahawks much of a chance against the defending champions. Part of it has to do with the fact that they came out of the horrid NFC West with a 7-9 record (the worst in the playoffs) which has sparked a raging debate concerning the seeding system of the playoffs. It’s not even the fact that the Seahawks were 31st in the league when it came to running the football, since that can be overlooked. However, what cannot be glanced over is that Seattle has a QB controversy……in the playoffs. Yes, a playoff team is actually not sure of whom (Charlie Whitehurst or Matt Hasselbeck) they are going to play at the most important position of their team. On the opposite side stands, Drew Brees, a man who outdueled Peyton Manning to win Super Bowl XLIV. If Pete Carroll picks veteran QB Matt Hasselbeck, who has proven that he can adequately handle the blitz, Seattle has a better chance at handling the New Orleans defense. Consequently, Seattle will end up making the game interesting, but the Saints’ explosive offense (read = 300 yards and 3 TD’s for Brees) will prove far too much for Seattle to handle.

Indianapolis Colts vs. New York Jets – If it were not for the Sunday afternoon game, the rematch of last year’s AFC Championship game would be the marquee match up this Wild Card Weekend. It’s tough to forget the classic chess match between Rex Ryan and Peyton Manning as the former attempted to put a stop to the Colts’ aerial assault. For a while it seemed as if the Jets would succeed with their defensive scheme but it was only a matter of time until Manning threw a TD pass to WR Austin Collie to break open the game. Haunted by their defeat last year, the Jets sought to improve their secondary and running game (both of which failed against the Colts) and acquired Pro Bowl CB Antonio Cromartie along with Pro Bowl RB LaDanian Tomlinson. With an improved secondary, the Jets have a far better chance at stopping an injury ridden Colts offense. Moreover, with Shonn Greene and LT running the football, the Jets should be able to keep Peyton Manning off the field and their defense well rested. Barring an awful game by Mark Sanchez, the New York Jets should be able to pull off the upset.

Baltimore Ravens vs. Kansas City Chiefs – Led by QB Matt Cassel, the Chiefs are the feel good story of the playoffs. This is the team that no one expected to win the division since every expert was ready to hand the AFC West to the San Diego Chargers. Proving the experts wrong, the young Chiefs are hosting a playoff game at Arrowhead Stadium, which is arguably the toughest stadium for an opposing team to play in. Nevertheless, these are the playoffs, the land of crushed dreams and hopes. The feel good story of the Chiefs will get derailed by the burgeoning train that is the Baltimore Ravens. Led by Ray Lewis, Terrell Suggs, and Haloti Ngata, the experienced Baltimore Ravens defense will feast upon the inexperienced offensive trio of Cassel, Charles and Bowe. Making matters even worse for the Chiefs are reports that Dwayne Bowe (leading WR) might not be completely healthy. Though the game may be close, it will ultimately be the Ravens that pull this one out.

Green Bay Packers vs. Philadelphia EaglesThe Green Bay Packers irrevocably changed the course of the Eagles season in Week 1. It was Clay Matthews’ sack of Kevin Kolb that gave Michael Vick the opportunity to start once again, and the rest as they say is history.

Of course, the Eagles lost that game despite Michael Vick’s late game heroics. After the game, Vick was quoted as saying that the result could have been different if he had played the entire game. Now at the beginning of playoff, Michael Vick gets to prove whether he was right or not. Honestly, after their victory against the Giants, it would have been foolish for anyone to bet against the Philadelphia Eagles and Mike Vick. However, the past few weeks have proven that Vick is mortal. More importantly, the league might have a blueprint on how to stop the Mike Vick Show. On the visiting team side of things stand about Aaron Rodgers and the explosive Green Bay offense. Eagles fans should be extremely worried since their defense has been inconsistent all season. Moreover, they have shown a susceptibility to the big play lately and the Packers offense thrives on the big play. All in all, this has the makings of a shootout because these teams are so evenly matched. The Eagles have a better chance of winning because of their RB LeSean “Shady” McCoy has had a spectacular season but his heroics have gone under the radar. This Sunday will be Shady McCoy’s coming out party.