Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Raw Report (John Cena vs. Chris Jericho and Randy Orton vs. The Miz)

I apologize for not updating the wrestling section of Vintage Blogs as much as I used to. However, that's about to change, because of my friend, JD, from Wackbag. He has graciously allowed me to post his reviews (from Wackbag's wrestling section) on here. If you are familiar with the name that's because JD also helped me compile the matches for the Shawn Michaels induced trips Into the Wresting Vault.

JD's reviews are always entertaining, insightful and provide more laughs than any of mine ever did. I would like to thank JD for allowing me to post his reviews, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

This is his review for the August 2nd edition of Monday Night Raw.
  • That opening video montage was fucking boring. Raw vs. Nexus as a SummerSlam main event excites me less than the new John Cena movie.
  • Did Cole really just laugh when Truth came out? Although Truth did cut a pretty decent promo, it was a nice thing to see him on the mic without just saying "What's up!!" Although the WWE Universe line was forced.
  • Edge vs. Barrett wasn't too bad, I was hoping for more from it though. I'm thinking that Nexus really does get the win at SummerSlam, but I wonder who's going to be the one who turns on Team Raw.
  • Hmmph....interesting to see Edge quit from Team Raw. I wonder who they wind up replacing him with. Jericho vs. Cena, loser leaves the team. I'm guessing Cena wins...although if there's ever been a character who needs a heel turn, it's him
  • I loved that Perfect vs. Bret IC title match at SummerSlam. Bret talked about it in his book, I didn't realize just how fucked up Perfect was going into that match
  • More Khali...I guess they must be planning on a trip to India sometime soon
  • Holy shit, Natalya actually in the ring? About time she gets to be more than just arm candy for Hart Dynasty. Much like Cole, I too would like to spend a Wednesday night at a Karaoke bar w/ Jillian, just to get her drunk as hell. Nice Northern Lights suplex by Alicia on Gail. Sweet underhook suplex by Natalya, fucking sick post bump Gail took! I can't believe it, I almost enjoyed that Divas match, and not just because of the tits
  • Oh Melina's back...who cares. I hope for our sake her return isn't as atrocious as it was against Jillian. Meh, I expect another injury soon. Alicia Fox is a little too tall for her to pull off her Primal Scream finisher right
  • This is how they're going to prepare us for Sheamus vs. Orton? Have Orton go up against one of the Uso brothers, then the next week have Sheamus go up against Goldust? Wow, way to make us worry about them not being 100% for the match...Jesus, they actually brought up their pseudo-feud from ECW? I guess I should be glad because they acknowledged their history, but geez. Hah, I bitch about Sheamus no longer using the Razor's Edge as a finisher and he does it

  • Mediocre promo by Sheamus...so much so that I already forgot all of what he said.
  • Jericho-Cena, not bad, but definitely not one of their best matches. WTF Cena, when Jericho was choking him on the ropes he looked like he was just trying to sleep through English class. "You are a stupid man!" Nice FameAsser by Cena off the top on Jericho, been a while since I've seen him do that.
  • I don't like the fast tap by Jericho, but I like that they pointed it out. I'm guessing they're trying to leave Cena to face a 7-on-1 by the time SummerSlam rolls around and he'll either win or join them and turn heel
  • Loved the tease of Jericho going and being fine with Cena, then the disgusted look comes over his face and he walks out.
  • NICE!!! We may actually get that Jericho-Edge teaming that we were robbed of this past year. I don't know where they're going with Y2Edge vs. Cena & Bret w/ Nexus around the ring
  • Wow, they must really have a lot of faith in this "Legendary" movie...opening in select theatres and is only a "limited engagement." Clearly Cena's box office clout isn't anywhere near as big as Rock's or even Austin's
  • Soooo instead of doing a real "guest host" thing, they're just doing the straight plug for The Other Guys. Fast forwards.
  • Yet another very good promo by Miz, I am going to be so upset when he cashes in his MiTB and loses
  • Good match, I love that Miz didn't look weak throughout the entire match like I almost expected. I liked seeing Miz show a little bit of his angry/psycho side. Nice backdrop counter by Miz on the 2nd rope DDT, especially followed by the back/neck breaker combo. And Randy wins, no shock there. Good job though by Miz
Hi, it's Aizaz again.....Since, I don't want to appear as a complete and lazy asshole, I'm going to post a few of my own thoughts on Raw as well.
  • My guess is that Tag match between Cena/Bret and Jericho/Edge is to simply reiterate what a threat Nexus is to all the superstars in the WWE. I'm predicting that Nexus' attack will lead them to the boring realization that they need to team together in order to beat Barrett and his henchmen. I like JD's 7 on 1 idea far more though and not just because it would allow us the awesomeness of Jericho and Edge together in a team.
  • That skit with Ferrell/Wahlberg and the Bellas wasn't actually bad. In fact, I would actually go far as to say that was pretty funny. Besides, landing Wahlberg and Ferrell is huge get for the WWE since they usually get D list celebrities at best.
  • I think it has been years since Jericho actually connected on Lionsault, I was actually surprised that he nailed it. What the fuck was with that quick tap out? If Jericho actually hitting the Lionsault wasn't enough of a shock, Cena's promo after the match was actually decent. He acted like an individual in his situation would, and he even sounded sincere. With all his hokey shitck, and the awful screaming promos, it's easy to forget that Cena was great at cutting promos back in the Smackdown days.

  • I immediately thought of Bret's story about Hennig when they showed that Summerslam Recall, as well. After reading the book, I actually went back and saw (even wrote about it) the match, and I'm amazed that those guys were able to put on a masterpiece like that with Perfect's condition. At least, I think it was this match instead of the one from King of the Ring.
Thanks for reading!

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