Tuesday, June 1, 2010

RAW Report: New Stars Were Bourne

Before I begin commenting on a great episode of RAW, I would like to thank Aizaz for continuing to put forth a ton of effort in running this blog. He's extremely dedicated and enjoys writing about his passion for wrestling. Despite the current valley of mediocrity that pro wrestling is cruising through, Aizaz never misses a deadline or half asses an article because he has a ton of pride invested in his work. With Memorial Day in the air, I would like to publicly thank Aizaz for contributing his time and energy because without him, there would be no Vintage Blogs!

I would also like to remember all the soldiers who sacrificed their lives in order to eliminate Aizaz' family from future attacks. Ahh, it feels good to be back.

Show opened with Edge fighting Evan Bourne in front of a raucous Austin crowd. Without opening pyro, I wasn't sure if the show would go on.

Edge gave an effective, threatening promo about how he'e different from and better than each of his opponents at Fatal Four Way. Horrible name as well as concept for a PPV. These themed PPVs absolutely suck. Why not bring back King of the Ring, War Games, or Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal? Those were fun, fresh, and logical themed events that would not only enhance fan interest but also create new stars.

Orton emerged like a snake in the grass and RKO'ed Edge after the Rated R Superstar exposed Orton's shoulder injury to the world. If you have a dislocated shoulder, is it wise to perform an RKO?

U.S. Champion R-Truth pinned Chris Jericho after reversing the Walls of Jericho into a pinning combination. Very exciting match with the crowd solidly behind Truth and defintely against Jericho. After the match, the camera focused on a bewildered and depressed Jericho. Clearly this is some nucleus for a storyline, and I have a hunch that I won't like it.

In some of the worst acting EVER, New RAW GM Bret The Hitman Hart revealed to the Hart Dynasty that he hired the Uso Brothers but didn't know that they would jump his family. Can Bret sign Joe Henning, Reid Flair, and C.W. Anderson too?

Santino & Eve defeated Regal & Maryse after Kozlov attempted a piss-poor chokeslam on Regal. So weeks of Santino recruting Kozlov finally culminated last night. The crowd popped for Kozlov's betrayal of Regal; however, that chokeslam was reminiscent of every Botchamania video ever. On the bright side, Santino & Kozlov does have comedy potential.

Editors Note - I should add that the WWE plans on having some kind of sitcom with Marella and Kozlov. The Moscow Mauler will play Santino's neighbor while Beth Phoenix plays the Italian Stallion's girlfriend. The WWE has been shopping it around to TV stations, and shockingly no one has jumped at this opportunity to grab a show with such potential....Yes that was sarcasm.




Bret Hart came out for a super huge announcement that would shake the foundation of WWE and SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT and PRO WRESTLING forever. Get ready...

1. Next week on RAW, both RAW & Smackdown superstars would appear. (I told you the DRAFT was meaningless!)
2. Next week, RAW is 3 hours. (Now I have more work for next week's recap.)
3. Next week, Bret had no fucking clue what he wanted to do. (I think the stroke is still taking its toll.)

Ted DiBiase comes out with Virgil to attempt to buy RAW next week. It was very cool seeing Bret, Virgil, and a DiBiase in the same ring together after 20 years. On the Bret Hart DVD, the Million Dollar Man and The Hitman have a great match that is worth checking out.

Ashton Kutcher pops up on the Titantron to encourage Bret to feature a Viewer's Choice RAW next week. Since Taboo Tuesday and Cyber Sunday were such successful events, why not waste 3 hours of time featuring rigged choices and phony fan participation? Bret loved the idea which led to the arrival of...


VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON!!!





The Boss is back! After 2 months (60 days) (2 PPVs) (Until LOST ended its series) Mr. McMahon returned with that Bad MotherFucker strut to criticize Bret, intimidate Bret, and wish Bret good luck. If we get more Hart vs. McMahon, then I'm a happy RAW fan.

Backstage, Edge swung a door into Orton's shoulder causing him to miss the main event. A door.

Bryan Danielson pinned Miz after reversing a pin attempt. I refuse to say Daniel Brian because I won't be brainwashed by WWE Corporate. I'm a blogger dammnit! I couldn't believe that Miz actually lost to Danielson; WWE allowed the king of the independents to defeat one of their top guys on RAW. WOW! Although the much anticipated encounter was pretty short, the win by Danielson was a feel good moment. Plus, Michael Cole got knocked on his scrawny, untalented ass. WWE created this entire feud due to our hatred of Cole on Vintage Blogs!


Introductory promo by the Usos and Tamina, another dumb name. However, with her father being Jimmy Snuka, I shouldn't expect anything normal. (Is she named after the woman he was accused of murdering in 83?) I don't know or care what their names are yet, but they took turns saying words in a very annoying manner. They claim to be modern Samoans because they dress fly, aren't fat, and take your college scholarship money. I'm sold: I hate them. The Hart Dynasty ran out to avenge their attack from last week, except Tamina proved to be too dangerous for Natalya and Tyson to handle. Another week, another triple splash by the sons of Rikishi and the daughter of The Superfly.

Ashton Kutcher punked out Zach Ryder by convincing Alicia Fox to turn on Zach. I like Ashton, thought he did a swell job as guest host, and hope that he can add some publicity to WWE. But I was anxious for D.J. Gabriel to win back the heart of his dancing companion.



Evan Bourne & John Cena defeated Sheamus & Edge after Bourne hit the Shooting Star Press on Sheamus. Hot main event due to multiple factors. I like the team of Edge & Sheamus; they're cold, calculating, and unpredictable which causes huge heat and interest. John Cena finally lent his star power to Bourne who owned the match in a pivotal career making way. After Cena gave Bourne a huge introduction, Bourne carried his weight and even added to the match. One hot finish to the Celtic Warrior lead to a roar of approval from the crowd. Years from now, this could be the show similar to King of the Ring 96 for Austin and Summerslam 02 for Lesnar.

The Verdict: Watch this show. New stars were created, good wrestling was watched, and Vince McMahon returned. Next week, it's all downhill.

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