Sunday, June 20, 2010

Fatal 4 Way Preview

Welcome to another unnecessarily themed PPV, where absolutely nothing of significance will take place, and the fans will be robbed of their money. If you are thinking of buying this PPV for some reason, and if you value my opinion at all, I would advise you to save your money for something better. Go buy a videogame (I hear Red Dead Redemption is pretty good), see a movie, buy a book or do something else rather than give Vince McMahon your hard earned money.

There are so many problems with this PPV, but let's start with the build up to the Fatal 4 Way Match themselves. Both main events have been overshadowed by the event taking place on the respective shows, thus the the Fatal 4 Way Matches have just became an after thought. As atrocious as Smackdown has been lately, they have at least managed to keep the Kane/Undertaker vegetative state storyline relevant to the World Heavyweight Championship picture, which is more than I could say for Raw. The "A" show's main event doesn't have any tension between the superstars as they are banding together to fight against the threat presented by the former NXT Superstars. Where is the build up to the actual match and why the fuck should the audience care? Also, there are only 5 matches scheduled for this show, one of which is a Divas Fatal 4 Way Match. Are you kidding me? You leave off performers the caliber of Chris Jericho and Christian off the PPV card with only 6 matches. How fucking stupid is this company? You can't come up with something for the guy who basically carried your flagship show for an entire year. I hope Jericho's reality show proves to be a massive hit, so he could leave this retarded company. As for Christian, I have resigned myself to the fact that he will never be pushed, and while it makes me extremely sad, I don't get as angry about him losing to the piece of shit known as Vance Archer, anymore. Not pushing him for a World title is one thing, but leaving him off several PPVs is just a slap in the face. I'm sure the WWE will fill time on the card by having the NXT rookies make an appearance, Barrett and gang can kidnap and beat the shit out of someone else, and have nothing happen happen to them, since choking someone with their own tie is considered more violent. Go fuck yourselves, WWE....

Eve (Champion) vs. Maryse vs. Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox
Fatal 4 Way (Divas Championship)
Aizaz - Who gives a flying fuck? Certainly not creative, since they haven't come up anything decent decent for the Divas division is years. I could see Alicia Fox winning the Butterfuly, since they have been pushing her, but I don't see it happening on this PPV.

Predicted Winner - Eve

Johnny C
- I've
explained my stance on WWE Divas' wrestling; releasing Mickie releases my interest.

Winner: And NEW CHAMPION GAIL KIM (Because I have her autograph)

Kofi Kingston (Champion) vs. Drew "Bucket of Jizz" McIntyre
Singles Match for the Intercontinental Championship
Aizaz - It is with a lot of pride and pleasure that I bring you the rumor that supposedly Vince and the higher ups have soured on the Bucket of AIDS known as Drew McIntyre. Hopefully, that means that this waste of everyone's time will not be pushed as hard anymore. I will bet's Johnny C's life that Matt Hardy will somehow interfere in this match, and somehow cost Drew the title. Of course, the opposite could occur as well, Hardy unintentionally costs Kofi the title, while Drew and Matt feud over the IC belt. I really hope the latter scenario doesn't come true, since Smackdown is bad enough already, but it's a possibility since Kofi is the one featured on the upcoming Money in the Bank PPV poster (below), which could signify a push for Kofi into the World Title picture. Nevertheless, I'm going to pick Kofi to retain, since a McIntyre/Hardy feud would be beyond painful to endure, and Christian was featured on the Fatal 4 Way poster.

Predicted Winner - Kofi Kingston retains the Intercontinental Championship

Johnny C - Month after month I have to talk about Drew McIntired, and nothing has changed: he's a mind numbing, seat filler. If Malenko and Benoit were "vanilla," Drew is sour cream. Bryan Danielson is fired while Drew is challenging for the Intercontinental Championship? That epitomizes the problem with WWE. I'm sick and tired of watching sports entertainment swallow pro wrestling with its corporate jaws chewing on the realism of sport and monopolozing tongue slurping away the creativity and passion of the wrestlers. I watch wrestling for athleticism, intensity, blood, and triumph, not cheesy skits and homogenized "entertainment." Jim Cornette shouldn't be alerted to the authorities for his opinions, he should be elected President of the wrestling community. People like Drew and Rob Terry are hogging the spotlight rather than allowing superstars like Daniels and Danielson to steal it. Kofi Kingston's breakout year was 2009; however, he's been stripped of his momentum in order to focus on time wasting celebrity guests, Scary Movie 4 quality skits, and white gloved referees wiping away a little drizzle of blood. Kofi is an original, talented, high flyer who connects with fans of all ages due to his positive demeanor and athletic prowess. Fans of all continents should embrace Kofi as their fighting champion.


The Miz (Champion) vs. R-Truth Singles Match for the United States Championship
Aizaz - Why couldn't the Fatal 4 Way from Monday Night take place on the PPV? You would get John Morrison (one of the most over midcarders on Raw) and Zack Ryder (a talented heel and the show is taking place in Long Island, which is Ryder's hometown) on the PPV. It would have provided the audience with the superior match, and gotten the crowd more involved. Oh wait, I know why this match is going to take place on the PPV. It's because the WWE overreacted and fired Bryan Danielson. Now, it wouldn't make sense for the Miz to be in the NXT Invasion storyline, so they had to come up with something else for him. Once again, I applaud your decision making abilities, WWE. I see Miz retaining, since they have nothing else for him.

Predicted Winner - The Miz retains the United States Championship

Johnny C - Completely boggles the mind...Miz loses the U.S. Championship to Bret Hart who clearly can't wrestle any match features Truth capture the U.S. Championship...then loses it to the Miz. This begs the question: WHY HAVE MIZ LOSE THE CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!? Frequent title changes only diminish the championships! Why should I care who wins if they could lose the belt on free TV Monday night?

Winner: Not the wrestlers, nor the fans, and definitely not the championship

Jack Swagger (Champion) vs. Big Show vs. CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Fatal 4 Way for the World Heavyweight Championship
Aizaz - Let's be honest here, Big Show is not going to win the title and Lawler has a better shot of knowing the name of the Smackdown guys (Totally stole that off John) than Rey does of winning the World Heavyweight Championship again. Punk should be the champion (best promo guy, most fascinating character in the WWE) but Swagger needs to win here. they have had him lose on Smackdown far too much for him not to retain the title. Last but not least, I wonder how Kane is going to factor in all of this. He is pretty much the focal point of Smackdown right now, and I wonder if he somehow can win the title here or if they wait for another month or so.

Predicted Winner - Jack Swagger retains the World Heavyweight Champion

Johnny C
- Big Show was a dud at WrestleMania 16 and he'll remain a dud here. Mysterio was the worst pushed champion in WWE history; therefore, he's an afterthought. Punk has been rolling with the Straight Edge Society, but Kane is becoming a threat. Jack Swagger is still performing well and can only improve with time.


John Cena (Champion) vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge vs Sheamus
Fatal 4 Way for the WWE CHampionship
Aizaz - A couple of weeks ago if you had asked me who I thought would be winning the WWE title, I would have gone with Sheamus. The Celtic Warrior was the guy who was being groomed to replace Batista, he lost to Evan Bourne and he had to get rewarded for that. I thought a title reign would do the job, but with the recent NXT invasion, I'm going to (sigh) once again pick John Cena to win. If they are serious about pushing Barrett (to their credit they seem to be) then Cena is going to to retain here. I wouldn't be surprised if Bret Hart had signed the NXT rookies to a contract by the end of the night, and post match Barett and company will attack the victorious John Cena. All of this leads up to a match at Summerslam where Wade Barrett gets crowned the new WWE Champion.

Predicted Winner - John Cena

Johnny C -
John Cena vs. Rita Repulsa, Lord Zedd, Two Face, Lex Luthor, Osama Bin Laden, Hurricane Katrina, Satan, and Girl Scouts on PMS

Winner: John Cena

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