Saturday, May 29, 2010

Smackdown Rundown 5/28/10

Let's start off with an explanation about the lack of updates in the past few days. I have been busy with work and family stuff, and I haven't had much time to write on here. As for John, he writes for another blog (he will update here when he gets the time)and they actually pay him. I'm a little disappointed in that two timing whore, but I don't begrudge him. It's understandable as to why he would like write for the people who actually pay him. Is the update rate going to improve from here on out? Hopefully, keep in mind that we already have 32 posts (There are blogs far more popular than mine which update less frequently) for this month, and there a still couple of days before the month ends. Now that all of that is out of the way, it's time for the Smackdown Rundown.

Before delving into that, I just want to briefly touch on last week's horrid show. Kofi vs Swagger was good, but other than there were absolutely no redeeming points to the show. I was ready to review last week's episode and then I realized I had absolutely nothing good to say about it. Are they kidding me with this bullshit of matching Hornswoggle up with Christian? Captain Charisma got moved from Raw to do "comedy" sketches with that God's mistake. Really? I had rather have Christian not appearing on Raw every week than see him with that turd. Hell, I would prefer to see him jobbing out to that fatass Abyss than see him crack jokes with Hornswoggle. I want to know what Christian did wrong... Did he fuck Steph or Linda? Did he have a threesome with them, while forcing Vince to watch? What makes Vince McMahon hate Christian so much?

If seeing Christian get degraded by the likes of Chavo wasn't enough I had to see Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins. We already have a black-hole of charisma in McIntyre, does Smackdown need to suffer through Vance Archer as well? The man has a tramp stamp, he shouldn't even be allowed to wrestle unless it's in the Woman's Division.

Even Rico thinks that is gay

It was an abortion of show, and I sincerely hope they put on a better show this time around.
  • My hopes for a better show aren't helped much as the opening segment saw Teddy Long get bullied by Drew McIntyre into suspending Matt Hardy.
  • This whole "untouchable" storyline is actually not bad, but it's McIntyre's execution of it that really kills it. In the Over the Limit preview, John mentioned that this entire storyline reminds him of when the Rock turned from the People's Champion into the Corporate Champion. That worked so well, because The Rock was wayyyy over with the crowd, and he had more charisma in one of his turds than McIntyre can ever muster in his entire career.
  • I wonder if Drew is this boring in bed... I certainly hope so, since Tiffany needs to be single again. Not that I would have a shot with her, but it certainly doesn't hurt my chances. Plus, it would cause pain to McIntyre, and I'm for anything that hurts that Jizzbucket.
Next up, a tag match featuring World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger and Jizzbucket vs Big Show and Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.
  • Big Show is really over as a face, I think he can be good in the role of a monstrous tag team partner, but to book him as #1 contender for the title at Over the Limit was a mistake. While it made sense storyline wise, I don't think anybody is going to pony up $40 -50 to watch Big Show wrestle in a singles match.
  • Earlier on Teddy Long mentioned that Show had qualified for the Fatal 4 Way match for the WHC, since he beat Swagger (via DQ) at Over the Limit. This is a move I'm fine with it, since Show won't be around for most of the match, thus the match's pace won't suffer.
  • The match was surprisingly not bad considering the fact that it involved McIntyre and Show. Kofi took the punishment throughout most of the match, while Swagger played the role of a cowardly heel really well. Swagger acted shocked/awed at most of Show's offense, and really got the Champ's fear of losing the title across.
Winners - Kofi Kingston and Big Show via Knockout Punch
  • The SES had a backstage segment where Serena and Luke Gallows tried to assure Punk (who is wearing a towel) that he looks just as beautiful as before. The WWE has deliberately shown no pictures or videos of Punk without his hair. Wrestling 101 tells me that Punk is up to some kind of shenanigans. Perhaps, he will don a wig ala Kurt Angle.

  • Another backstage saw Vickie flirt with Dolph Ziggler, as the former was appreciative of Dolph's effort to stick up for her.
  • Confession time - Vickie didn't actually look that bad in that particular segment. If I was really wasted (as Johny C gets every weekend), I might actually consider fucking her.
  • Wow, I actually said that. Maybe, this whole posting all my thoughts on a public medium wasn't such a good idea.

CM Punk vs Kane

(Winner qualifies for Fatal 4 Way)

As I expected, Punk didn't reveal his beautiful baldness to the world, instead he wore a mask. I like the move because as Striker mentioned "Punk doesn't let fans get satisfaction". Not only does that get him heat from the fans, and you can hear the disappointment from the crowd once Punk reveals that he wearing the mask.
  • It also leaves the door open for the Punk/Rey feud to continue into Summerslam if the WWE wants to head in that direction.
  • Punk faced Kane in a qualifying match for Fatal 4 Way, and I enjoyed it a lot. Sure, there were an inordinate amount of rest holds and submission locks, but the contest featured a very aggressive Punk as he kept his focus on Kane's knee throughout the match. I think making Punk much more aggressive is the natural way for his character to progress after he has been humiliated by Mysterio. I think giving him a title run to really establish him and SES as the biggest heels (which he is) on the show would be a good idea as well.
  • Towards the end of the match, Punk botched the GTS pretty damn well, and I have no doubt that it will make it on to the next edition of Botchamania

  • Advertised next is Christian and Hornswoggle vs Chavo Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler
    • Yes, I died a little on the inside when I read that.
    • Poor Chavo, not only does he get squashed by Kane again, but he is back to facing Hornswoggle. He must feel as if he is reliving the last couple of years all over again. Apparently, creative is as dry as Mae Young's crusty old vagina.
    • Honestly, I don't even mind that they are going with a Christian/Ziggler feud. Does it indicate somewhat of a demotion for Christian? Maybe, nut at least he will be elevating someone with talent. And if anyone can elevate Ziggler its Captain Charisma. They had a terrific match on Superstars two weeks ago, and I'm looking forward to what else they can come up with. It's just just the Vickie/Hornswoggle/Chavo additions that really bug me.
    • I know no one watches Superstars, so here is the match.

    Hey Vince, pay attention to the ovation for Christian!

    • Back to Smackdown - Christian and God's mistake won, but it was the audience who lost, since we had to witness Hornswoggle in the ring.
    • After the match, Ziggler put Christian to sleep.
    Up next - Luke Gallows w Serena vs MVP
    • MVP stole LeBron's throwing chalk dust into the air thing. Quick note - LeBron actually stole if off MJ so it doesn't truly matter.
    • I guess it makes MVP more of a baller if he does things like this.
    • Gallows' entrance theme is very similar to Big Daddy V's.

    • Short match that saw Gallows win via interference from the masked member of the SES. I think it's a good sign that they are letting member of the SES get their heat back by winning matches. It prevents them from looking like complete useless assholes.
    • Oh and Serena's tits looked as glorious as the sight of water to a man stuck in the desert.
    Once Punk is done with Lita (another Diva down), I'm sure he will turn his attention towards Serena.

    Main Event - Undertaker vs Rey Mysterio
    (Winner qualifies for Fatal 4 Way)

    • Taker did his unnecessarily long entrance. Usually I either ignore or fast forward through them, but this time I actually watched it. Taker is now using a robe with a hood on it forgoing his trench coat and hat. I kinda like it since it reminds me of the ole' Ministry of Darkness days. I know I'm in the minority, but I kinda liked the Ministry.
    • Nice bit of heavy handed symbolism there by the WWE as Rey wears white and Taker sticks with the black.
    • Any time, you get two veterans like Rey and Taker in the ring, you are bound to get a good match, and this wasn't any different. It wasn't as good as their match from this year's Royal Rumble, but it was still worthy of the Main Event label as both guys did their best to put on a good show.
    • Striker can claim that "Undertaker is in the best condition of his life", but it's bullshit. If you watch the match, you can see that his hip is bothering him. I don't don't think we see the Deadman reign over the WWE for much longer, and that makes me sad.
    • The Deadman bled from his mouth ( I think it was one of Rey's kicks) and no one came out. This isn't the first time that something like this has happened, which makes me wonder whether it's the WWE trying to protect the mystique around Taker's character or if it's just the veteran getting what he wants.
    • Taker won and advanced to Fatal 4 Way, I really hope they don't put the belt on him.
    Winner - Undertaker via Tombstone

    Overall, it was much better show than than the previous week's. By deciding all the participants for F4W tonight, they gave the writers 3 weeks to come up with some interesting stuff before the PPV.
    Thanks for reading!

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