Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Smackdown Recap (4/23/2010)

Smackdown is coming "live" to you from Uncasville, Connecticut.

The night begins with World Heavyweight Champion's music hitting, and we are to be graced with a promo by The All-American American. According to Swagger, he is on a roll. Good to know that you can be on a roll even after getting defeated a few nights before. The Champ said he beat two first ballot Hall of Famers (Jericho and Edge) last week. In addition, he dominated the Undertaker like nobody else; not even Shawn Michaels. Swagger seems to have forgotten about Judgment Day 2006 when The Great Khali pinned The Deadman win with a foot on his chest.

Swagger gave credit to Orton by mentioning how the Viper could inject anybody with enough venom (There is a joke about Orton and semen to be made here) to keep them down for a 3 count. However, Jack Swagger isn't just anyone, the World Heavyweight Champion claims. No, he is the man who had 30 consecutive pins in his collegiate career, and he would be Antidote to Orton's venom. Then he talked some more and said he would cut the Viper's head off. Once, Swagger is finished, John Morrsion's music started playing and JoMo did his entrance in slow mo (Get it...Uggh)

Jack "Antidote" Swagger vs John Morrison - This was an absolutely fantastic match as both men surpassed their wonderful effort from a few weeks ago. Filled with counters, good wrestling, and couple of believable near falls, this fast paced match brought the crowd to its feet as they counted every near fall. The finisher saw Morrison survive the Gutwrench Bomb (Put his hand on the bottom rope) and counter the subsequent Running Powerslam into a Pele kick and Starship Pain for a pinfall victory. I don't like Swagger losing at all, but I'm not going to harp on that ..... for now. Right now, I will just say that it's good that Swagger got to be the Champion, since its allowed him to show just how phenomenal he can be in the ring, a fact that was going entirely unnoticed on Raw. Oh and I get the feeling that this might be Morrison's last match on Smackdown (pure speculation) and this was a thank you for his his work over the past year and an effort to make him look strong when he gets drafted to Raw.

Winner - John Morrison

Backstage, Punk complained to Teddy Long about Rey, or as Punk called him a Sociopath gremlin running around in a mask, cutting off a lock of a lock of Punk's pure hair. Teddy's response? "It's your problem, playa" .... There is a reason he is still on probation. Punk tells Teddy, Mysterio did it on Raw, because he has no shot of doing it at Extreme Rules. Teddy tells Punk that he hopes that the latter wins for his sake and the WWE's Universe's sake, because Punk is going to be ugly. He then has the audacity to call himself handsome while referencing the shine on his bald head......Just completely unprofessional conduct on Teddy Long's part... How is this man still employed? Our Lord and Savior tells Long "Look here, Chuckles" you better hope I don't see Mysterio for the rest of the night. In response, Teddy makes a tag match between Punk & Gallows vs Rey and Kane.

R-Truth & Matt Hardy vs Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler - I will be honest with you, McIntyre's new theme has grown on me, and I like it. The only problem, it's wasted on the bucket of jizz. With the slow opening notes in his theme, the WWE is hoping that the fans react (read = boo) in anticipation of McIntyre's theme. What the WWE fails to understand is that absolutely no one cares about McIntyre, so the chances of their ploy succeeding are extremely slim. it's a good idea but they need it for a heel that the fans actually care about like a Punk or Jericho. On the other hand, Ziggler got some nice heat this week, which shows his recent antics have finally gotten him some much needed credibility with the fans.

The majority of this match was commercial breaks, but what they did show was alright. The best part of match was McIntyre's curb stomping Hardy on the steel steps. That was awesome, and the fans still didn't care, because it was McIntyre. Fuck it, I have time for another rant on Drew McIntyre.

This talentless fuck has been provided with every tool necessary by both God and the WWE. He has the type of body that makes Vince cum all over himself. Consequently, the writers have given him some great tools to get over with. In his debut program, he was allowed to dominate Finlay, a guy built up as one of the toughest wrestlers in the locker room. After that, he was given an undefeated streak to brag about. Subsequent to that, he was allowed to steal (in typical heel fashion) the Intercontinental Title off John Morrison, who was extremely over as a face at the time. Once that wasn't able to get him over, somebody had the great idea to have McInytre bitch and moan to Vince in order to expunge his loss thus restoring his perfect record on several occasions. All of these idea are well thought out ways for a heel to get over.This guy should be one of the most hated heels on Smackdown right now, instead he is so charismaless that he failed to get himself over and hurt the people associated with him (Just ask Morrison after his loss to McIntyre)

Back to the match: Hardy tried to continue, but couldn't. As a result, the match was stopped.

Winners - Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre

After the contest ended, the medics came out to check on Hardy, the "Chosen one" attacked Hardy again. Once he was done, McIntyre told Hardy that this was the last time he would see him. I think McIntyre might be headed to Raw, and I couldn't be happier to see him off Smackdown.

Next, Chris Jericho, along with Wade Barrett, made their way out to the ring and they were greeted by a chorus of boos. Jericho did his usual shtick calling everyone a hypocrite and a parasite. Then he tried to get the crowd to chant "Spear" twice, and even the Master of the "Walls of Jericho" was not able to get the crowd to chant for more than few seconds. Following that, Jericho lists things he would do to Edge in the cage.

Raking his face across the cage - Actually that would be entirely useless, since it won't draw blood and even if there is some blood, the referee will stop the match, and call the medics to clean it up, thereby defeating the entire purpose of the cage match.

Possibly jumping off the top of the cage onto Edge's ankle - Does Jericho actually think Vince would let him do this? That fucking asshole wants less and less violence on a wrestling PPV. There is entirely no way this happens. If you want to see a brutal and barbaric cage match, I would suggest watching Kurt Angle vs Ken Kennedy aka Mr. Anderson from Lockdown.

End Edge's career - No

He continued until Edge came out, and actually had a somewhat good promo. In fact, this might have been his best promo as a face. You knew it was going to be good when he mocked Jericho about losing to Heath Slater on NXT. Afterwards, the Rated R Superstar claimed that he had nothing to lose since he has already been injured and he knows how to climb back, but his adversary doesn't. Following some more back and forth, Edge attacked Jericho and Barrett. The former escaped the cage leaving his protege in the cage. Barrett begged to be let out and Jericho refused citing the fact that he would have to open the cage door. Edge beat up and Speared Barrett, while Jericho looked on worriedly.

Pretty good segment, since it advanced the storyline between Jericho and Edge and headed the relationship between Jericho and Barrett into a whole new direction. Ever since the beginning of NXT, Barrett and Jericho have had the best relationship as the former has shown nothing but respect for his mentor. Now this relationship has the possibility of getting more volatile, and I'm looking forward to it.

Next, we have Mike Knox's last match.

Mike Knox vs JTG
- Standard squash match to end what might have been one of the greatest heels in the company.

Winner - JTG

Shad, who came out to new music, was bearing a blue suit, and did a decent enough job on commentary. By the way, watching Shad wearing a suit reminded me of Stringer Bell. No one, and I mean no one pulls off wearing a suit like Stringer from the Wire. He is almost Bond-esque, which makes sense as Idris Elba (the actor who played Stringer) is British.

Nobody pulls off the suit like Stringer

Post match, Shad attacked JTG with a strap which gives some buildup to their Strap match at Extreme Rules.

A Women's match took place, and I went away for a bathroom break.

At last, we come to our out main event, which was made earlier in the night.

CM Punk & Luke Gallows vs Rey Mysterio and Kane - Remember when Rey Mysterio and Kane had a feud on Raw because Kane physically and spiritually tortured Rey? Don't feel bad if you don't because neither does the WWE. The match itself was good, but that's no surprise when guys like Rey and Punk are involved. The finish saw Mysterio attempting a Springboard DDT off the top rope and Punk turning it into a GTS momentarily, but Mysterio countered. The Straight Edge Savior turned it into a sitdown for the pin.

Winner - CM Punk & Luke Gallows

Once the match was over, Punk continued his assault on Mysterio in order to weaken his moment. The Master of the 619 was able to recover, and hit a baseball slide on Punk, who just happened (what are the odds) to land on the barber's chair placed at ring side. Rey Rey tried to cut Punk's hair again, but Serena intervened and Punk was able to get away. The last shot of Smackdown had that "Sociopath gremlin running around in a mask" holding a pair of clippers.

Nice enough edition of Smackdown, the only matches they truly built up for Extreme Rules were Edge vs Jericho and Mysterio vs Punk, and those are the which really don't require them. Nevertheless, it was an entertaining show, which had a an absolutely brilliant match between Swagger and Morrison.

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