Saturday, April 3, 2010

The Smackdown Recap (4/2/10)

Last week's Smackdown was such an abortion (It served as extended advertisement for Wrestlemania 26 with no good matches) that Smackdown had no where but up to go this week. Did the fallout from Wrestlemania make for a good show or did Smackdown continue it's recent downward spiral? Read on to find out

The show begins with your World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho, walking out to the ring as a chorus of boos rains down up on him. Striker and Grisham take the opportunity to show a picture of Jericho nailing Edge with the Title. Yet, for some reason the Codebreaker that followed is never mentioned. I don't get it, why would you have Jericho win the match with a Codebreaker, but then sell it as Jericho winning through nefarious means. Jericho (who is in the ring) gloats that he is still the best in the world at what he does and genetically superior than his challenger. He then proceeds to berate Edge, calling his Spear after the match, a cowardly act. Jericho portrays himself to be an innocent victim, who was a victim of the hypocritical crowd as they chanted "Spear, Spear, Spear", while Jericho could barely draw breath and was suffering from internal bleeding. Anyway, he continues to shit all over the crowd calling them a bunch of losers just like Edge. He finishes by saying "I'm not here to say I told you so, it is so".

Edge makes his way out to the ring and panders to the hypocrites by saying he is just like them because he wants to see Jericho get speared. Wow, absolutely amazing stuff there, Edge had to become a face for this horseshit. The Rated-PG Superstar demands a rematch, Jericho declines, calls Edge a loser, and demands that he leave. Edge, sour grape that he is, attacks Jericho. By some miracle, Y2J's shirt comes off to reveal taped ribs, he is promptly the recipient of an Edgecution and a Spear.

As Edge poses on the ramp, Jack Swagger makes a beeline for the ring and hits Edge in the back of the head with the actual briefcase. Once Edge is laid out, the former ECW champion checks to see whether Jericho is super human like John Cena. He is not. Credit to the WWE team as that was a nice reference to the events that took place on Monday Night. Mr. Money in the Bank frantically calls for a ref. Striker has this horrible call "The Bank of the All American American is open ad it only accepts cash deposits". OK, what the fuck does that even mean? The Money in the Bank briefcase contains a fucking contract, so what in fuck's name is Striker talking about.... Anyway, Mike Kioda comes running out and asks for the bell to ring. Gutwrench Powerbomb and Jack Swagger is the new World Heavyweight Champion.

There had been rumors of Swagger moving to Smackdown, but I didn't expect it to happen this soon. I think they have rushed this one, but if there was anyone who can build Swagger up properly, it's the Smackdown team. If they have Swagger go over Edge and Jericho in this feud, while those two are too preoccupied with each other, it will go a long way towards establishing him.

We come back from commercial with a recap of the events that just transpired. Wow, that was a really detailed recap. I'm amazed that they could do this for a live show.

Shockingly, R-Truth and John Morrison are still a team and they face Cryme Tyme. According to Todd Grisham, "It was a highlight for R-Truth to have 72,000 fans chanting What's Up with him". It might have been a highlight for K-Kwik, but it's sad for a guy like Ziggler, who works his ass off, but is unable to get over with the crowd, because those fucking idiots in the crowd can only appreciate a hack, who has more botches in his matches than anyone I recall .

John Morrison & R-Truth vs. Cryme Tyme - This was a squash match as Truth hit Shad with a scissors kick, and Morrison finished him off with Starship Payne.

Winners - John Morrison & R-Truth

Following the match, Shad turned on JTG and so comes an end to Cryme Tyme's long, useless, and at times hilarious career. They were never able to acquire the Tag Team Championships, and were basically misused for the past few years. On the bright side, at least we will never have to be subjected to "Word up" again.

Not exactly like The Rockers splitting up

As Shad does a horrible job of trying to be a villain, the show cuts to Jack Swagger in the back. Walking backstage, the new World Heavyweight Champion demands respect from Slam Master J (who is shockingly still employed), Tony Atlas, and Mickie James. Then he sees Shelton Benjamin and says "Maybe, they should call me the Gold Standard".

Commercial Break

Smackdown returns with another recap though this time it features the break up of Cryme Tyme. They use that as a segway to Josh Matthews interviewing Shad. According to the former member of Cryme Tyme, this is his time now. Maybe, Shad and Cena can feud over the rights to the song, it would make just as much sense as Booker T and Big T (Ahmed Johnson) feuding over the letter T.

Once the interview is mercifully over, the crowdkiller Drew McIntyre comes out and beats up Matt Hardy before their scheduled match. Todd Grisham felt the need to tell us that McIntyre wasn't out there to fight a match. No shit, Captain Obvious. No matter what the WWE does, no one will ever care about Drew McIntyre.

The Great Khali vs Dolph Ziggler - Khali's matches suck and this one wasn't any different though thankfully this was kept short as Ziggler applied the Sleeper Hold twice to get the victory.

Winner - Dolph Ziggler

After the match, The Great Khali announced that he will be returning to India in order to refocus. However, when he returns he will become a World Champion. First, Shawn Michaels and now Khali, I don't know how we will be able to handle this great loss.

Commercial Break

As the broadcast returns, we are joined by the Straight Edge Society. Punk says that if any city in the United States needs to be saved it's this one. In fact, he envies all the viewers at home, because they are not in Las Vegas right now. He says that you can get alcoholic beverages 24 hours a day.......... Cheer.......7 days a week.......Cheer.........365 can smoke in any public place......Cheer. The crowd's reaction pretty much shows just what a stupid move targeting the PG audience is for the WWE. I hope you get destroyed in your shitty election, Linda.

Punk continues running his mouth on on Vegas referring them as the savage denizens, who lie to themselves and everyone around them just like Rey Mysterio. Nice transition. Punk says that Wrestlemania wasn't supposed to go like this, he was supposed to save Rey Mysterio at the grandest stage of them all. In fact, he refuses to stop whether Mysterio wants to be saved or not, Rey will be Punk's crowning achievement. In exchange for a rematch, Punk will puts his hair, which represents his eternal purity and leadership of the SES) on the line, since he cares for Mysterio so much. Just like the Hardy feud, Punk shows that he is willing to put everything on the line for his Straight Edge beliefs, which is just one of the reasons as to why he is the most compelling character in the wrestling.

In a backstage segment, Jericho demands that Teddy Long reverse the decision, but Teddy doesn't agree. Teddy Long is a discriminant, he reversed the decision for McIntyre, but he can't do it for the Canadian Chris Jericho. No wonder he is on probation.

Commercial Break

After the commercial, the Hart Dynasty shows us that they have no talent what so ever on the mic, and they definitely need Bret Hart as a manager to get over as faces.

Kane enters the ring and announces that he is bored and frustrated. Apparently, Lita doesn't put out much. Oh wait.....sorry Matt. Kane thinks that a boring and frustrated monster isn't good for anyone so he will face all 8 of the NXT rookies.

Kane vs NXT Rookies - Bryan starts the match for the rookies and manages to get a little offense in before tagging out. Darren Young gets the shit beat out of him and tags a reluctant Justin Gabriel in. However, Barrett isn't so reluctant and steps into the ring. Unfortunately, he is pinned rather quickly. Skip Sheffield comes in gets beat up for a while, and for some inexplicable reason Heath Slater gets tagged in. He deservedly gets gets Chokeslammed and pinned. The rookies regroup and gang up on Kane leading to a DQ. Bryan does a drop kick off the top rope, Otunga throws an elbow, Young drops the Legdrop, Sheffield does a splash, and Gabriel finishes it off with a 450 splash.

That was a nice opportunity for the NXT rookies to get some exposure to the Smackdown audience. I wasn't necessarily happy with Barrett and Slater getting pinned by Kane, but I can live with it since they did shine a spotlight on the NXT rookies.

Swagger comes out to deliver his State of the Championship Address with a stoic face. As per Swagger, the audience should get used to many more of these Addresses, since Swagger plans on being a champion for a long time. Take it easy, Champ, you will be lucky to hold the belt after Extreme Rules. Swagger claims that this is the apex of the people in the crowd, they will never top the night when they saw Swagger win the World Heavyweight Championship. Swagger reads from his prepared statements about how he became the ECW Champion after 4 months, then followed it up with Money in the Bank victory. Excuse me! Swagger is forgetting the times he jobbed to Santino Marella.

Jericho interrupts the State of the Championship Address by asking for the title back. Edge comes out and requests that Swagger grant him the title shot. the discriminant Teddy Long rushes out and makes Jericho vs Edge next week and the winner gets a title opportunity. Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Edge, while Swagger sneaks a Gutwrench Powerbomb on the former World Heavyweight Champion. He follows that up with another Gutwrench Powerbomb (Somebody name his finisher, he is a champion for fuck's sake).

With that, the Smackdown team has done more for Swagger in one night than the Raw team did for his entire tenure. This is just further proof that if your name isn't John Cena, Triple H, Randy Orton, or Batista, ending up on Raw will be cancerous to your career.

Images courtesy of the WWE

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