Sunday, March 28, 2010

Wrestlemania XXVI Preview

It's finally upon us, the culmination of a WWE wrestling year, the grandest stage of them all, this is the night every wrestler dreams of shining under the spotlight, Wrestlemania 26 has arrived. After last year's disappointing effort, Vince and the boys backstage have stepped it up, and this year's Mania feels like it's going to be a major wrestling event. The Mania card features some excellent bouts, with decent storylines, and in some cases great buildup. There are no gimimick celebrity appearances or matches, there isn't an over the hill "rock star" performing, there is a Divas match, but they are just an unfortunate fact of wrestling life. What we do have is the return of Bret "the Hitman" Hart to the ring against Vince McMahon, a Career vs Streak match between two definite Hall of Famers, two of the best wrestlers fighting over Canadian Pride and the World Heavyweight Championship, and (as much as it hurts me to say this) the two biggest superstars since the Attitude Era facing off for the WWE Championship. This is most excited over Wrestlemania, we have been over a while, and we would recommend buying it.

Here it is baby! The biggest night in professional wrestling. Where legends are born and careers are made. The showcase of the immortals. The granddaddy of em all. It is WRESTLEMANIA!

Aizaz posted his predictions and I shall post mine. Since I'm the bigger fan with the more passionate knowledge, I fully intend to pick a clean sweep for tonight. I hope Zazzy G enjoys the show as well as all of you 2 other readers because WrestleMania is what being a fan is all about. Without further adieu, let's get pickin!

Randy Orton vs Ted DiBiase vs Cody Rhodes

Aizaz: This match might have the worst buildup around it. Legacy have done absolutely nothing to distinguish themselves, and it shows in the crowd reactions as absolutely no one cares about these glorified jobbers. In the beginning of the feud, these guys looked like faces as Orton attacked them, but they are so uncharismatic that crowds have vehemently cheered for "the Viper". Even worse for the sake of this match, there hasn't been any tension between Rhodes and DiBiase. If they had a bit had some sort of falling out or disagreement (after all this is a Triple Threat match), one of the two might have managed to get some kind of crowd reaction, but there was nothing of that sort. As it stands now, this match will pretty much play out like a Handicap match with Rhodes and DiBiase teaming up on Orton. Suddenly, the remaining Legacy members will remember this is a Triple threat match, they will fight each other, and Orton will take advantage and win the match. I will be honest with you people, I would totally mark out if Orton broke out the Orton Pose after winning the match.

The Orton Pose aka "How Gay Are You" meter

I might have given the indication that I don't look forward to this match, but that's not entirely true. I'm looking forward to Orton's transformation into an anti hero of sorts. WWE faces are so generic that an intelligent and powerful face will be fun to see.

Predicted Winner - Randy Orton

Johnny C: I enjoyed Legacy last year during the buildup of Mania. They were a pack of dogs attacking the McMahon Family and Triple H. This year, Rhodes & DiBiase have been demoted to boring. Legacy reminded me of Raven with Stevie Richards & Blue Meanie in ECW. They were cronies and so are Legacy. Orton is emerging as the top star of pro wrestling, ahead of Cena and Batista. Foregone conclusion: 2 RKOs and Cowboy Bob will be proud. He won't raise his arm in victory due to the infamous cast.

Winner: Randy Orton

Johnny C Bonus: Santino, Goldust, the Bella Twins, Hornswoggle, and Masterpeice will all be caught in the shower with Mae Young and Betty White for the annual comedy segment.

ShowMiz (Champions) vs. John Morrison and R-Truth
Unified Tag Team Titles

Aizaz: This seems like a throwaway match meant to be filler on PPV and involve guys like Morrison, Show, Truth and Miz However, I still expect these guys to put on a good match. I liked Miz and Morrison's match at Bragging Rights , combine that with the fact these guys were in a tag team for years, and I think both these superstars will shine with the lights on bright. A lot of the buildup around this match revolved around R-Truth & Morrison proving that they are a legitimate tag team by constantly getting the best of Miz & Show. This pretty much insures that ShowMiz will retain unless Daniel Bryan interferes. I think it's highly unlikely since Morrison and Truth are much more valuable as singles wrestlers on Smackdown.

Johnny C: Never in my wildest dreams (and they are wild) did I believe that Johnny Nitro and K-Kwik would be wrestling at Mania 26. Their tandem reminds me of WrestleMania 15 when D'Lo Brown & Test challenged Jarrett & Owen for the belts. Tag teams made out of necessity are detrimental to tag team wrestling. I guarantee that Truth & Morrison won't team up after tonight. ShowMiz are money, though.

Winners: ShowMiz

Johnny C Bonus: Gorgeous George's Wife Drops Dead During the Hall of Fame Introduction Segment

Predicted Winner - STILL Unified Tag Team Champions ShowMiz

Sheamus vs Triple H

Aizaz: A few weeks ago Triple H came out and and claimed that the people who had beaten him at Mania were the ones who had gone on to bigger and better things as he referenced Cena and Bati+sta. I will include Chris Benoit as well, but he is correct, as the people who have beat him went on to have success in the WWE. But. Stephanie's husband is completely wrong when he says "The one who haven't [beaten him] had become footnotes in history. This is just another disgusting example of the WWE's revisionist history. Let's go over the people, Triple H has beaten at Wrestlemania in the past few years. At Wrestlemania 16, Triple H pinned The Rock. The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment manged to have several WWE Title reigns after the aforemtnioned. Let's not forget he became the biggest face in the company for a number of years. Currently, he is a successful Hollywood actor and one day he will be WWE Hall of Famer. Hardly, what I would call a footnote in history. At WM 18, Hunter pinned Chris Jericho. The same Chris Jericho who has had several World Championship regins after the aforesaid defeat. teh same Chris Jericho who was the biggest heel in the WWE for the last few years. The same Chris Jericho, who will also be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame one day. Nope, not a footnote in history. At WM 19, Triple H pinned Booker T. A few years later, the latter manged to win the World Heavyweight Championship as King Booker. I wouldn't call him a footnote in history either. Can Triple H explain to me what exactly he means by footnote in history because every one of those guys has gone on to have success and have championship reigns.

Oh but the mighty Triple H wasn't done with just one quote. No, he had to bury the fucking WWE title. He told Sheamus until the the Celtic Warrior beat Triple H at Wrestlemania, he hadn't arrived. Regardless of whether you like Sheamus or not, the fact that Sheamus won the WWE Title 5 months after debuting on Raw is amazing. But oh fucking NO until he beats Triple H, he hasn't arrived. EAT SHIT AND DIE, Triple H. I expect this match to be the worst one on the card since The Game is reportedly hurt, and I don't expect the mediocre at best Sheamus to carry him to a good match. Anyway, I expect the Master of the WWE Universe to lose, since he will be happy jobbing to his gym buddy. By the way, Sheamus needs to win this match in order to establish himself as the dominant heel, Vince and the writers intend him to be.

Predicted Winner - Sheamus

Johnny C: As a huge fan of Sheamus, I'm pumped for the biggest match in his career. All of Ireland will be closing schools and opening bars tomorrow in celebration. Triple H NOT in the main event is shocking. Obama was right about hope and change. Well, Triple H lost his first Mania to the ULTIMATE WARRIOR and tonight will lose to the CELTIC WARRIOR!

Winner: Sheamus

Johnny C Bonus: Michael Cole will refer to Triple H's "Knee Offenses" as "VINTAGE! TRIPLE H!" rather than "Harley Race Knees" as J.R. Decreed.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match

Aizaz: The annual spotfest featuring a cast of Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Kane, Shelton Benjamin, Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy, MVP, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, and Kofi Kingston. I'm huge fan of the MiTB, but I'm even more excited this year. This year's match doesn't feature much star power with the exception of Christian. This is truly an opportunity for the midcard in the WWE to shine, while it also gives one of them to distinguish himself from the rest of the midcard. Last year's breakout star was Kofi Kingston, and he was rewarded with a main even feud with Randy Orton. I'm expecting two maybe three competitors to just go balls out. Evan Bourne doing a Shooting Star Press off the ladder on top of the ladder outside the ring breaking. Anwyay, expect breathtaking starts and a lot of spots involving ladders. Unfortunately, I get the awful feeling that it will be the blackhole of charisma known as Drew McIntyre, who will walk away with the case. No one in the MiTB has been consistently featured in build up to MiTB except that bucket of jizz, which leads me to believe that he will win. The only way the WWE can redeem themselves after this travesty would be to have him cash it in on the same night and lose to Edge. Otherwise, just have the most deserving competitor (Christian) win it. Who doesn't want to see Edge vs Christian for the World Heavyweight Championship at Summerslam?

Predicted Winner - Drew McIntyre

Johny C: Kane has as much of a chance at winning as Jerry Lawler has of knowing who the Smackdown wrestlers are.
Dolph Ziggler should be happy that he's at Mania unlike his former Spirit Squad cohorts.
Evan Bourne will break his neck tonight. I'm calling it.
I would love for Jack Swagger to win but his absence of enthusiasm on RAW indicated that he's simply getting a shirt and a short drive home to Oklahoma tonight.
The only way MVP will win is if the cops are behind him as he runs up the ladder.
Drew McIntyre seems to be alot of people's favorite, but I don't agree. If he is already the Intercontinental Champion, he wouldn't need a Money in the Bank contract to be over.
Shelton is to Money in the Bank what Jeff Hardy is to the ladder match and what William Regal is to the Dutchess of Queensbury match. Regardless, he will still not win.
It is between Kofi and Christian. Despite his squash loss on Monday, Kofi is still a shining star. Christian could use this victory to challenge Edge or to challenge Jericho in honor of Edge.
Rita's has been serving Peeps Water Ice, so Captain Charisma will be steering his ship to the bank.

Winner: Christian

Johnny C Bonus: Christian Cashes In Tonight...and Loses

CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio
If Rey Mysterio loses, he must join the Straight Edge Society

Aizaz: On a card filled with great matchups like Taker vs Michaels and Jericho vs Edge, this is the match I'm looking forward to the most and I firmly believe that these two will steal the show at Wrestlemania 26. By the way, I fully expect Punk to do a mid-match promo, and once again, I would mark out. There is no way Punk misses the opportunity to "preach" to 70,000, and it will be a glorious sight as more than 70,000 people boo or cheer CM Punk. Back to the feud, Punk's micwork has been absolutely excellent and he firmly established himself as the biggest heel in the business. Mysterio has done well as the face as he puts an impassioned defense for the honor of his family. CM Punk has publicly stated that he will steal the show at Wrestlemania, and I for one believe the The Pastor of Purity.

Oh yeah, very much so. I'm looking forward to stealing the show. And letting everybody know that that's exactly what I plan to do.

Yeah, I think me and Rey have chemistry," said Punk. "I've known Rey for...geez, I'm an old man, almost 10 years now. We've wrestled a couple times, and we haven't really been able to showcase exactly what it is we can do. We've barely scratched the surface."

For the sake of this feud to continue, I want CM Punk to win. Seriously, can you imagine the awesomeness of Punk making life a living hell for Mysterio as a member of the Straight Edge Society. It would be even better if Punk converted Mysterio into a devoted Straight Edge follower, since it would further Punk's role as a cult of personality leader. I doubt the WWE has the balls to do that though. Anyway, this is the first prediction I'm making from my heart, and surprise its CM Punk.

Predicted Winner - CM Punk

Johnny C - Somebody should check on Aizaz during this match. He might need a squeegee to clean off his TV screen. Although I haven't been following Smackdown as closely as I'd like to, Punk vs. Mysterio is a certified phenomenal match under any circumstances. Rey avenging his family's humiliation would be appropiate for Mania; however, Punk forcing Rey to join the Straight Edge Society is too compelling to pass up. Tonight Rey Joins...Backlash: Rey Removes the Mask.

Winner: CM Punk

Johnny C Bonus: Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake Cries at Home as the Straight Edge Society Steals his Gimmick.

Bret Hart vs Vincent McMahon
No Holds Barred

It's been 13 years since I have last seen Bret Hart in a WWE ring, and I'm damn excited to see him again. Sure, he might not be in the best health condition after suffering a stroke, but he is still Bret Hart. I expect him to put on a good brawl with Vince and make him tap out to the Sharpshooter. It would be cool to see the dysfunctional Hart family come together after Hart's defeat of the chairman. It would be even better if the Hart Dynasty helped Bret win and get some exposure for themselves.

Johnny C: This is the biggest match with the biggest comeback in wrestling history. NO ONE ever thought Bret would be back in WWE. AND NO ONE ever thought he would WRESTLE AGAIN. He may be older, he may have had a stroke, but here's the thing...he's Bret Hart. He's the Excellence of Execution. He's the Best there is, the Best there was, and the Best there ever will be. I'm calling BLOOD from both Hart and McMahon. I'm calling Vince sending henchmen. I'm calling a Hart Family reunion. And every fan in the world will be calling for the bell when Vince taps out to the Sharpshooter.
Winner: Bret Hart
Johnny C Bonus: Jim "the Anvil" Neidhart will be showing the effects of Canadian Bacon.

Predicted Winner - Bret Hart via Sharpshooter

Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels
Career vs Streak

Aizaz: How do you top last year's classic? You start by raising the stakes considerably by adding a Career vs Streak stipulation. Then you throw in a No-Countout or No-Disqualification clause From there on out, you let these two men do what they do best, which is entertain the fans. With Undertaker reverting back to talking like a normal human being and Shawn Michaels delivering some vintage promos these two have already matched if not exceeded last year's hype. Now all that remains is for the match to take place at Wrestlemania, and I have a feeling people will talk about it for years. Honestly, I'm not ready to see Michaels retire, there are still so many feuds and matches he could be involved in (Michaels vs Punk, Michaels vs Morrison) that it would be a shame to have him retire. This leads me to believe the theory that Triple H will somehow end up costing Michaels the match, and "The Heartbreak Kid" can continue on.

Predicted Winner - The Undertaker advances to 18-0

Johnny C - Best Match Ever. That is my prediction. Enough said.
Shawn Michaels is the Headliner...the Main Event...the Show Stopper...Mr. Wrestle Mania....the HeartBreak Kid....and after tonight....the STREAK ENDER!
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Johnny C Bonus: R.I.P. Taker's Streak

Chris Jericho (Champion) vs Edge
World Heavyweight Championship


Now that horseshit is out of the way, let's get to the actual match. This match involves two of the best wrestlers in the company. Furthermore, both these wrestlers possess tremendous mic abilities. Their feud has a built in history after Edge's unfortunate injury and heroic return at the Royal Rumble. For all intents and purposes, this should have been the main event of Wrestlemania. Yet it's not. Why? Because the build up to this has been absolutely atrocious. I was one of the people who thought that the Rated R Superstar would be refreshing as a face, as it has been years since he has been a face. So far, Edge has made me look like an idiot. I'm sorry but making recycled fat jokes about Big Show isn't entertaining and neither is chanting "SPEAR, SPEAR SPEAR" over and over again. My opinion on the buildup to this match might make it seem as if I don't look forward to this match, but that's not true. Even with the awful build up, I'm still looking forward to the match because of the two excellent wrestlers involved. I'm pretty confident that these two guys will have a match that will bring the house down at Wrestlemania. I can see Edge winning only if Drew McIntyre is going to cash in the MiTB and lose. On the other hand, I just can't see Jericho with how much of a fool he has been made to look in this feud.

Predicted Winner - STILL World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho

Johnny C: This match has been predicted since June of 2009. Although the buildup has been shaky, the essentials of the match are monumental. Edge and Jericho have never, evvvvvverrrr had a 1 on 1 match on PPV. Both are Canadian superstars; therefore, they are superb wrestling machines. Both have been entertaining as heels and faces and both are good friends in out of the storyline. The last time Jericho headed into Mania as the Champion he was the 3rd wheel in Triple H-Stephanie storyline. Now he's looking to steal the show against the man voted in high school most likely to become WWF Champion. I'm a huge Jericho fan but I never bet against the Royal Rumble winner in the WrestleMania Main Event.

Winner: NEW World Heavyweight Champion for the 10th Time...EDGE!
Johnny C Bonus: Good Old J.R. will be sporting his John Wayne Cufflinks.

Batista (Champion) vs John Cena
WWE Championship

This is a match that has benefited greatly from the story and buildup that it's been provided with. From the moment, Batista screwed John Cena to win the WWE Title,this feud has been money. Both Cena and Batista been delivering excellent promos. In fact, Batista has done the best micwork of his career. From a logical standpoint, this feud makes sense, since every one Batista's points make sense. Cena and Batista's rise to the top have practically mirrored each other seeing as how they both won World titles at W21. Then why is Cena the poster boy and why did he get the torch passed to him from Austin? Anyway, the build up and story perfectly fit the jealousy aspect of this incarnation of Batista's character. When the first indications of this match happening became apparent, I wasn't really excited. However, with the excellent build up to this match, I'm actually looking forward to the two biggest stars since Attitude Era facing off in the Main Event of Wrestlemania. Unfortunately, I don't see the guy who has made this feud (Batista) walking out with the title. He has just gotten the bets of Cena way too many times, and the Cena is today's version of Hogan, which pretty much insures he will end Mania as the Champ.

Predicted Winner - NEW WWE Champion John Cena

Johnny C: Hogan vs. Warrior. Hart vs. Michaels. Rock vs. Austin. All of these matches featured the top two superstars in their era battling for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania. Batista as a heel is natural. He is in wrestling for the money, the fame, and the fortune. He likes winning and he likes hurting people. John Cena is in wrestling for the excitement, the fans, and the culmination of childhood dreams. He visits children in hospitals and gives the people someone to root for. Although I may not like him, I see him as today's Hulk Hogan, Dusty Rhodes, and Mick Foley. This match will be fun and it will be electric. Unfortunately for Cena, I hope one of his heroes will visit him in the hospital.

Winner: And Still WWE Champion...Batista!
Johnny C Bonus: The St. Louis Cardinals will be shown on camera Dropping Imaginary Elbows on each other.

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