Sunday, March 21, 2010

Smackdown Recap (3/19/10)

When we last left Smackdown, they had put on a mediocre show weeks before Wrestlemania. Now, as the Road to Wrestlemania gets one week closer, Smackdown made a stop in Los, Angeles, CA. Did they fare better this week? Read on to find out!

Smackdown beings without it's usual theme song, instead we get greeted by Todd Grisham and Matt Striker. Oh shit, you know things are serious when the opening theme gets bypassed. Anyway the former commentating team for ECW claim they are in shock over CM Punk's actions last week. Cut to Recap of Punk destroying Mysterio last week.

I'm glad they are giving this feud the time and attention it deserves. With the disappointing build around Jericho vs Edge, this match might be Smackdown best offering to Wrestlemania. I fully believe that Mysterio and Punk are capable of stealing the show at Wrestlemania. Anyway, in last week's recap, I raved about Punk's fantastic promo, and I'm glad that WWE shares my opinion. Though Punk has been money on the mic since the inception of SES, this was just epic, and it's very nice that the WWE recognizes this.

Once the promo ends, Rey makes his way to the though he is not his usual jovial self. He doesn't put the mask on one of the idiots in the crowd nor does he talk to them. The serious Rey Mysterio says mentions that he hasn't slept over the past week as keeps seeing Punk's face over and over again.

The face that haunts Mysterio's dreams.

To rectify this situation, Mysterio wants to teach Punk a lesson at Wrestlemania. But it won't be just any lesson, it will be a lesson taught with trashcans, Singapore Canes, amongst other things. This lesson will not have any headshots with a chair though, that's too harsh of a lesson. The "Master of the 619" wants Punk in a Street Fight.

CM Punk's music hits and out comes the "Pastor of Purity" accompanied by the Straight Edge Society. The Second Coming of Jesus casually brushes of his actions last week and explains to Mysterio that he knows exactly what the latter is feeling right now. Mysterio vehemently denies this. Doesn't this masked idiot realize that Jesus/CM Punk knows everything? If challenging Jesus' claim of omnipotence wasn't enough, the filthy peasant invites, Our Savior, the ring so he could teach him a lesson. The Second City Saint refuses and tells Rey that if he touches him before Mania, the match gets called off. Jesus doesn't want to sully his hands with the likes of Mysterio until he doesn't have to. Following the declination, the leader of the SES tries to recruit Mysterio into the fold. I'm not an advertising expert, nor do I mean to question Jesus, but Punk really needs to change his recruiting pitch.

To demonstrate why Mysterio should join the SES, Punk had a slideshow of images from the previous week. He starts out with a picture of "sweet, innocent, Alliyah" and Mysterio. Punk tells Mysterio that Alliyah trusted him to save her from the big bad monster and her father was a superhero, who could make anything go away. As the slew of images continued, Punk told Mysterio how he disappointed each and everyone of his family members. Punk called the angry father a coward and told him that his daughter would never trust him again. The Straight Edge Two -Time Money in the Bank winner even claimed that Mysterio would never live up to the "superhero" image that the WWE Universe had of him.

But Punk has a way to change all that. By joining the SES, Mysterio would be able to regain his daughter's trust, and his manhood. He would be able to live up to the superhero image that the WWE Universe has of him. All Mysterio needed to accomplish all of this is to simply join the SES because "Straight Edge means I'm better than you". Yes, i marked out when Punk said that.

For some odd reason, Mysterio rejected such a generous offer, but Jesus wasn't ready to give up on Mysterio soul so easily. Punk proposed the following; If Rey Mysterio can beat Luke Gallows tonight (like he did two weeks ago) but if Mysterio loses, then he has to join the SES. Now, there's a recruitment idea worthy of Jesus.

Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP & Matt Hardy - I just realized something the two heels in this match are both college educated individuals (Swagger from Oklahoma State, Ziggler from Kent State) while their faces comprise of a high school dropout and a convicted felon, who acquired his GED in prison. I don't know what this says about WWE booking or the WWE Universe, but it can't be anything good.

The match itself was decent, but most of it took place during the commercial, but what they did show was good. MVP hit the "Balling Elbow" and Swagger distracted him/ Hardy pushed the Two-time Two-Time All-American out of the ring, but it was enough for Ziggler hit MVP with a ZigZag and pin him. I'm surprised that Ziggler got the pin, but it was a pleasant surprise like finding Cookie Dough ice cram ice-cream in the freezer.

Winners - Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swaggger via pinfall

After the match, Ziggler did the pre-MITB pose with the briefcase.

Enjoy it, Ziggler. That's the closest you are getting to that briefcase.

After the commercial break, there was a backstage segment with Drew McIntyre and Teddy Long. The latter was making fun of Drew's "undefeated" streak. Neither one of these guy is a good actor (in fact, it can be argued whether McIntyre acts at all) so this was a forgettable, throwaway segment. For Teddy's acting acumen, I direct you to this fine clip.

After a couple of promos, Smackdown returns with the set of Cutting Edge in the ring. The guest on tonight's show is the "best in the world at what he does" Chris Jericho, who is accompanied by Wade Barrett. Edge had his serious face on, but it didn't take him long to make a gay joke about Jericho and Wade.

Here is the how hypocritical the WWE is, they ban head shots to make sure that Linda McMahon' senatorial campaign doesn't get negatively affected by the WWE. Yet, they have absolutely no problems with guys like Cena, Triple H and Edge making gay jokes.

There you go, there is some wholesome family entertainment for you. Oh wait, cock jokes aren't exactly considered family entertainment. Let's not forget Vince's numerous indiscretions on screen, gimmicks like Cryme Tyme and Linda kicking Vince in the balls on live PPV. For the record, I think all of those things are great, but for the WWE to pretend they are wholesome family entertainment is a lot of bullshit and an insult to the fan's intelligence. Here is hoping Linda gets destroyed in her Senatorial bid (this is one of the few times, you will see me hoping for a Democratic victory) and we get our headshots and dick jokes back.

Back to the Cutting Edge, this segment was very well done as Jericho correctly pointed out that their match at Wrestlemania just won't revolve around the "Spear", there is going to be an entire match that needs to take place and if Edge came back before he was healthy that match is going to be very short. Edge neither denied nor confirmed whether he is hurt, he did ask Jericho take hsi best shot though. Following a spear to Barrett, Jericho Codebreakd Edge.

Hart Dynasty vs R-Truth & John Morrison - This was an extremely sad affair. The Hart Dynasty didn't get to enter the ring to their music, and then they got squashed within a minute. I have no clue who they pissed off or what they did, but Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith deserve mcuh better than they are getting.

Winners - John Morrison and R-Truth

Luke Gallows vs Rey Mysterio - This was a rematch from two weeks ago, and it was quite good. Rey works well with bigger men, and Gallows is no exception. In fact, Gallows has show that he is very good when give the opportunity. Following some intereference from Serena, Gallows won. The comparison to Bam Nelly can now end.

Winner - Luke Gallows

Once the match ended, Punk sort of taunted Rey as their match at Mania would now determine Mysterio's future. Rey Rey lost it and attacked Gallows, this is good as Mysterio really isn't that great on the mic, but he can certainly show some emotion through this beatdown. Punk stoically watched, and increased his creepiness. I really hope Punk wins, since I would like this feud to go on for a while.

Undertaker vs Drew McIntyre - They competed to see who has the longer entrance. The match was mostly a squash as McIntyre only got one move in, which is just about his offensive arsenal. Taker won via tombstone. I would be much happier, if it wasn't for my belief that all these losses are going to translate into a victory for McIntyre in the MITB. Please don't prove me right, this blackhole of charisma doesn't deserve that briefcase over Christian.

Winner- Taker via tombstone Piledriver.

Following the match, Taker did his pose at the end of the ramp, but Michaels came out to Superkick him. He failed, as Taker countered, but MIchaels refused to admit defeat and did end up Superkicking Taker. Then he mocked Taker by doing his pose on the entranceway. Too bad, he kind of fucked it up.

This was a much better Smackdown than last week's as the show effectively manged to progress nearly all of their storylines without making the show boring. Plus, we got to see a good match between Mysterio and Gallows. It's a good thing that Smackdown righted the ship since there is only one week to go till the Grand Daddy of them All.

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